my brother

It’s easy to idealize someone who’s passed away. I lost someone very close to me to cancer a few years back. While I cried over the loss, in many ways I idealized this person in my head. The reality wasn’t always so great. There were things I hated about him as well-we used to have fights over trivial things and not talk for months. Then he realized how childish he was being. Plus he poked fun at my dreams (things I wanted to achieve) and was irrational at times.

Your brother wasn’t perfect either and perhaps if he was around today he might not have been a great guy. Currently I’m not talking to a close relative. She’s always been a ***** her entire life and if she died tomorrow, I’d feel a little sad at the loss but she and I are not talking right now due to a simple little argument by text. Frankly I’d be fine without her in my life-but she’s a part of my family so I have to put up with her.

Just trying to give you examples to help you realize that your brother must’ve had his flaws as well and there’s probably nothing you could’ve done to stop him from passing away. I know at some point I face the loss of my two siblings or perhaps they’ll lose me first-as well as my parents. Death is a part of life that we have to deal with and accept. In some ways I do look forward to my own ‘end’…but I don’t want to miss out on what I leave behind, which is why I’ve stayed around for a while-despite wanting to commit suicide.