Those familiar with my posts know that my fiancée and her three kids abandoned me and erased me from their lives completely. And that was after 5 1/2 years of complete and utter devotion to them.
The oldest and youngest knew their biological fathers. The middle child did not know hers. I first met her when she was 7 years old. Her mom and I started our relationship when she was 9.
At first she didn’t know anything about it, but when she found out, she couldn’t have been happier. Even though her younger sister’s dad had adopted her when she was 6, she never felt like his daughter.
Around Christmas time that same year she came to me one day and asked to call me dad. I was shocked, but I was also happy. From that point forward I called her daughter and she called me dad.
It wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes I had to lecture her and discipline her. That’s what dads are supposed to do when the rules are broken. But I did it all with love.
I was always there for her, no matter what needed. Sometimes it was advice, sometimes it was a hug, other times it was just a shoulder to cry on. I was determined to be a good dad and raise her right.
When her mom and I started to have problems, she started to withdraw from me, little by little, as if she sensed my time with her was coming to an end. She started wanting to spend more time with her “other” dad.
In the end she went along with the rest of them. She abandoned me and erased me, too. All I did for her didn’t matter anymore. It was like those 5 years I was her dad never even happened.
I always told her that the greatest honor of my life was for her to be my daughter. I still feel that way today, even after what she has done. My love for her remains the same.
Her 15th birthday is in less than 3 weeks. I’m not even allowed to send her a birthday card. I’m probably not even going to be around to do that, anyway. But it still hurts not to be able to do that.
I remember the times when she messed up and I had to lecture her about what she did wrong. She would interrupt me by saying “I love you daddy!” in a sweet voice, and I would just melt. She knew how to play me like a fiddle, just like her mom.
I love you daughter and I miss you lots and lots. I’ll be your daddy forever in my heart.
4 comments
hey worthless_loser 73 – just want you to know that i’ve read all of your posts and can tell you’re really suffering. i am so sorry that you are feeling this way. you express a lot in your posts. have you tried other online forums like 7cupsoftea or depressionsforums.com? is there a way to PM you? i can listen if it helps.
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. I post for two main reasons: 1) It creates a record of my thoughts and feelings right at the end, and 2) Maybe someone will get some help with their own situation by reading about mine. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
you story is really touching. you have suffered a lot. i know now that you have lost your will to live so this time i am not giving any advice or cliche.
may you get what you want!
Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. And thanks for the nice wish. I hope it comes true, not only for me, but for all of us here. May we all get what we want.