My life has finally come crashing down once again. So much has happened in the last 48hrs, too much to handle, and it’s too late to fix anything. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I fucked up. In so so many ways I have fucked up. 48hrs is so short, but trust me, I’m too late.
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Surely you haven’t done something that bad, most things always seem worst when they first happen.
bee26,
it’s also to early to determine your fate, lay low and wait out the storm, you might be surprised.
It’s not just what I’ve done. It’s EVERYTHING that has transpired in the last 48hrs, which is the culmination of the past year of my life. I thought I was ok. I thought everything was ok. FUCK EVERYTHING. FUCK EVERYTHING. FUCK EVERYTHING
Trust me most things get better, in the last year my life has been turned inside out but now after it all I know that I will get through it and so will you with time
FeelingFunny,
yeah things really can go wrong, best to get over it and start over. learn by your mistakes. if I had a magic wand I’d use it on you but first I’d use it on myself.
Thnx Rocketman. A magic wand would be dope as hell right about now. Not everything is fucked right now, and I do know I will get over it. It’s this feeling and these thoughts though. I havent felt like this since I was like 17, Im early-mid 20’s at this point. I havent slept in a couple days, think I’m gonna get fired, possibly evicted, and possible homelessness. Add in a horrible drug problem and the fact that I’m 100% alone because I have been abandoned by everyone. I almost never play the victim, but right now my life is shit and I just destroyed my face by gouging into it with this tool thinking I was peeling dead skin but realized I was carving directly into fresh skin yet couldnt stop. Spent 6hrs destroying my face, literally 6hrs with blood everywhere. Im fucked.
My world was turned upside down in only a few short hours. I was completely powerless. All I could do is sit and watch as years of memories became meaningless. Worst part is I still don’t understand why. I can’t make any sense of it.
That being said, it was an interesting experience. If you can, take a few minutes and relish what you feel. Look at how you feel, turn it around in your head. Examine it. Laugh at it. Take pride, even though everything is fucked up, you feel deeper than those around you seem to. Not everyone is capable of this feeling. Not everyone allows themselves to feel this way.
Things won’t get better. Just different.
It’s all my own fault. That’s why I know no one can fix it but me.
FeelingFunny,
of course I don’t know the extent of what your up against, I know a little more now though! Sorry, about all those shity things going on, however you said “and I do know I will get over it” that’s good!, you know there really isn’t anything anyone can say to fix everything, I’ve fucked up to, and I’ll tell you a secrete! worse then what you just describe! and I got the same fucked up advice! 🙂 good luck! keep focused on the repair process, I still wish I had a magic wand!
Your a chill dude Rocket. I appreciate the input, and I feel like I was able to draw strength from your words and your general honesty/directness. I can tell you know whats up. Thnx bro.
FeelingFunny I think you cool a bit mad but
Thnx. Did u mean, “A bit mad, but cool.”?
Ya pretty damn mad/crazy, pretty damn cool as well though.