What can I say… I have been seriously depressed and in a lot of pain (emotionally) for well over a year… I am on anti depressants, but they just don’t help me thinking I have nothing to look forward to… I had the life, a good job, everything was going well for me, but suddenly I snapped… I couldn’t keep my job, became paranoid… And I just feel like crying everyday…
Has anyone recovered from this? My brother did, he was bad for about 2 years and I remember when he was going through it how little I thought about how serious it was and how he felt… I almost thought he was making it up…
Now I know how painful it really is and how people that have never experienced depression just don’t get it and see it as weird or laziness…
They say men think about sex every 8 seconds, well I think about different ways of killing myself every 8 seconds… Though have only tried cutting wrists (couldn’t cut deep enough) hanging (got interrupted) and overdose (ended up in a coma, but sadly woke up)…
Will this pain ever end… And who would ever love a girl like me? I can’t even fake smile anymore… All efforts of happiness are unreachable…
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We never really recover from it. It comes, and it goes, and we learn to cope a little better each time. Do you really want to get better? Right now suicide is probably looking like paradise compared to the effort you’ll have to put into putting your depression under the mat. Laying around is safe and comfy. That’s the problem. Get out of your comfort zone. Push yourself. Easier said than done, but try to take baby steps. Try to get out of bed and out of the darkness. Take a little walk because the sunshine misses you, and you need the bright light to guide you through your journey back to happiness. You’ll fall and scrape up your knees, but it’ll be worth it. I promise you. Talk to your doctor about new meds if that’s an option for you. That’ll help too. Chin up sweetie! It’ll get better for you!
(Sorry didn’t reply in right way… I guess I should have done it this way… But thank you for your response and understanding and honesty… In the very least, I don’t feel so alone…)
That’s exactly it… I spend days in bed… Just keep food here so I don’t even have to go to the kitchen… It’s awful… Just keep the door closed and even the curtains closed because I don’t want to see the sunny skies and remember that it once made me happy…
When I have to go to then doctors my heart races just from being outside again and I just panic… I feel so alone but don’t want anyone to see me like this so keep people away…
This is the first place I have spoken in about a year except for when I have been in hospital… I didn’t even know sites like this existed or how many of us there really are…
Do you know of anyone who has recovered? I was in and out of mental homes and locked wards for a while, so I’ve stopped with the suicide attempts, but I feel it growing again… The hopelessness, the pain, the never ending pain that actually hurts my chest and makes me burst into tears several times a day…
I know so many people who have recovered. It really gets better. Open the blinds, and smile at the sun. It’s ready to smile at you. Support is the best. It could be gruesome but having people there is helpful. Oh so helpful. It’s embarrassing But that’s who we are. Just lost souls trying to find our sunshine. Put the food back in the fridge so you can go on a little food seeking adventure! (: try new recipes! It’ll get you out of bed and let you stay away for a few more minutes. Just take baby steps. There’s no rush because we’ve all got nothing but time on our hands.
It sounds silly… But you’ve motivated me to make a cup of tea… Thank you…
PG tips the world does not know what it’s missing but that doesn’t cure anything. Only hard liquor can solve our problems. Drink until you don’t know your name. Drink until your problems go away. Drink until you’ll never be the same. Which reminds me I have to get some more booze, Back in 5 not that anyone carezzzzzzzzzzz
Halcyon_days…
Why don’t you start a post with what’s going on in your head today… Something tells me it’s full and I’m sure you will get some interesting responses… I have then feeling you need to spill…. Maybe I’m wrong…
Not really. I’m on antipsychotic medication blocking huge amounts of dopamine. I literally have no thoughts at all. I’m a Zombie with reduced functioning.
Yeah but I know alcohol changes the zombie stage… I was on anti psychotics too and alcohol just made my mind open again…
Well I’d like to agree with that but that’s not the case with me. Aripiprazole makes me restless and Quetiapine is better but I feel nullified. Combining drink and quetiapine makes a person less responsive. A lot of the other antipsychotics are unsafe you’ve got to have real problems to be on those.
A lot of Antipsychotic are antihistamines and also antagonise a1 receptors which can make you sleepy but it’s the blockade or nullification of Dopamine which is the main problem.
That gave me goose bumps and tears. I’m so glad. Enjoy your tea sweetie!
Just made… Sip sip PG tip 🙂
It was great that you made me motivated… But obviously a tea doesn’t last long and I’m already sad about becoming depressed again… I’m so grateful you, a complete stranger, took the time to make me smile… But how can I keep that feeling? Keep posting here? Keep relying on strangers to give me a little light in my darkness? That doesn’t seem normal or fair… And how do you have motivation to motivate others? I feel so desperate all the time I don’t think I could even comfort a friend if twit pet died or something… I am so selfish atm… How do you do it to give to others when you’re suicidal? Or are you in “recovery”.. (If that’s such a term)
Don’t rely on others to keep you happy. People come and go. People will make you happy but don’t let them be your complete happiness. Keeping the feeling is hard. It’ll take time but working on it and keeping your negative thoughts minimal is a start. Of course you’ll have negative thoughts constantly, even if they’re unwanted, occupy yourself in a positive way. Posting on here shouldn’t be a daily thing. Sadness is contagious. Being vulnerable is even worse. It’s great to have feedback from others but it shouldn’t be something you rely on to make your happiness stay. If this site works for you though, and doesn’t bring you down, continue to stay. It may help boost you a little. My motivation isn’t motivation. I’ve been in these shoes and all I wanted was someone to tell me to get up instead of some therapist who was only making money. I wanted someone’s genuine word not an easy way out. I didn’t want to go. It wasn’t my time. I needed a smile from a stranger and I got it but the girl has since left I believe because she found her way out. You don’t need to comfort anyone, just being there will help. I have a hard time with comforting my friends if tears are involved. I’m not suicidal anymore. I still have struggles with severe anxiety. It’s crippling but I cope and manage as much as I can.
It’s so sad that you are so learned on this subject at such a young age… That you have been through it and come out the other side…
Thanks for the tip on not spending too much time here… I can see myself spending hours, so will make sure I limit… But people seem to be really positive here… So I’m finding talking about suicide makes me stop thinking or planning it… So a positive step maybe when I become negative… Just to force myself on here to talk with people…
It’s just sad because I really start to like you and if it weren’t a site, I could imagine going for a drink with you and having a good chin wag 🙂
There’s tons of helpful people here. I’m thankful for them. Really. Taking that step would be great for you and everyone here. Don’t force it so much if you don’t want to though. You’re allowed to be sad. It’s not a crime. It’s just getting you out of that constant blackness so you can see happiness again. Drinks are fun! We’d definitely be laughing and talking too much to think about all the negative!
Well, I guess you already know your name means gift…
Today you have been a gift for me 🙂
If you’re ever in the Horsham/Crawley area, let me know 🙂
I’m glad. Lifting you up for just a few minutes has literally made my week.
I have heard of people who recovered, or learned to live with the symptoms. I’m trying that myself, since psychiatry and medication have been an utter farce. Atm it doesn’t seem to be working so wonderfully.
I hope you get better. You sound lovely, I hope someone notices that you are.
Thank you… You are very sweet to say… You gave me a little smile to wake up to in the midst of everything x
You deserve every smile you can get.