Someone once told me that since I am the oldest child in my family that pressure and stress comes with the job… He also said “it’s you that has to take the bullet for them” I feel as if I’ve taken the whole clip of a machine gun for them, but as I lay here surrounded by my suicidal thoughts… I cant help but hope that one day someone will step up and take the bullet for me… But by the looks of things that’s not in the near future anytime soon…..
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Hello persephani/persephone.
I was the original user who joined under the name of Persephone (if you were unable to choose that for yourself). I haven’t used that moniker for a long time, I just thought it was funny to see someone else with that alias.
Welcome to SP. 🙂 Sorry for whatever reasons brought you here (it’s obviously not the cheeriest environment).
BTW, just because you may be the oldest kid in your family doesn’t mean you should take on all the responsibility – that’s your parents job. If you’re being used as a babysitter you should be asking for monetary compensation as well, it’s only fair. You didn’t ask to be born first, it doesn’t mean you’re automatically obligated to cover everyone else’s duties and to watch over your siblings. If they’re very young and your parents often leave you in charge, then ask for a fair hourly pay like they’d give any babysitter or nanny. (I’m assuming you must be in your teenage years.)
Or maybe you meant that people expect the most from you in school and in your community and so on? Either way, just remember to be true to yourself and don’t do things simply to please others if it’s not what you want. Be clear about your abilities and limitations with others so that they don’t push you harder than you can tolerate.
Good luck.
It’s not only babysitting which I don’t mind as much as having to run around and pay the bills take my siblings to school clean up after everyone on top of constantly fighting with my drug addicted sister and my mom always taking her side because of her problem… Also school finals tests and not having both parents in my life with no one to talk to is starting to take a toll on me mentally emotionally and physically
I hope you will feel better, Persehpani. I am sorry it has been so difficult for you, and there has been no one with whom you could talk about these things in a meaningful way. God luck to you.
I mean, good luck to you.