Well, I guess it’s time for my story. I have made some posts but I guess it’s time to say the real deal.
Ever since I was a kid my mom would spend most of the time at a hospital. I usually stayed with her best friend or someone that took care of me since I was a baby. Such a nice old lady. She was like the grandma I never had. So yeah, I went to a private Christian school and had a few close friends. Well there were times when the security guard would go looking for me telling me my mom was outside waiting for me. I would get so excited but over the years I had learned to not take my things with me because she wasn’t there to pick me up. Every time I went to see her she would say she had to stay at the hospital for a couple of days and that I would need to stay with Lissy (her best friend). I never really liked to spend that much time with Lissy (I would call her mean).
Skipping ahead a few years, my mom was hospitalized and it was almost New Years ( for 2009) and I was staying with Lissy. Well we had planned on going to NY and then to Connecticut but my mom didn’t want to go. For January 6th (my birthday) Lissy had asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said that the only thing I wanted was to see my mom before leaving (we were leaving January 16th). That day I went to see her and it was heartbreaking to see her like that. That was the last time I saw her. Probably the saddest birthday ever, I know.
Well after spending about a month in Connecticut I receive a call from my Godmother telling me my mom has passed. Then, the legal shit started happening, as usual. By June 9th I had to be back in Puerto Rico (yeah, I’m Puerto Rican) to go to the trial. Well they didn’t give my custody to Lissy, instead they gave it to my aunt. I lived with her for almost 2 years and then came to Fl to live with my uncle and aunt (they thought they were gonna give me the best). (During those 2 years I tried to commit suicide, ya know, the common way, taking some random pills, a few every night).
While in Fl I was having trouble making friends at first but then I got used to it. It was by my freshmen year (last year) that I started to notice how fucked up I am. I became more alone than ever. I realized I was fighting a battle with my inner self and my inner self was winning.
Well that’s it for now. Too much for one day…….
1 comment
Thank you for sharing. Many here are also alone. I know what you mean by battling your inner self. However, if your writing is any indication, you have a lot to offer. I look forward to hearing more from you.