Today I volunteered at a free kitchen. It was reasonably satisfying.
Now, rather than feeling depressed, I feel alienated at all levels – social, familial, spiritual, material, physical, personal, etc. Everything that previously held meaning for me seems utterly meaningless. Only the avoidance of animal discomforts – cold, hunger, pain, loudness – has any glimmer of motivation; even achievement of animal comforts – warmth, satiety, comfort, quiet – seems irrelevant.
Is this an improvement? I’m not sure.
Is alienation treatable? Also not sure.
19 comments
alienation rubbish that’s why we here
Alienation? We’re all animals, so you might say that any given desire or comfort that a human can have is in itself an animal drive. Being alienated is for some people an outgrowth from living amongst animals who refuse to acknowledge their own zoological reality.
What is it that you feel alienated from, in particular? And why so?
Thank you for responding.
The more a desire or comfort applies uniquely to humans, the less I consider it an “animal” desire or comfort.
I’ll give you a off-the-cuff list, but “why so?” is harder. I don’t know why so.
* my job, my chosen field, employment in general
* my historical interests
* my old beliefs
* my value as a human being
* my desire to do something worthwhile, and my belief that I can
* my possessions and worldly wealth
* my perception of myself and my self-esteem
* my relationships with other people (this is actually perhaps my least alienation)
* and more!
It’s different than simply not caring, closer to caring intellectually but not emotionally.
Apparently I still care about being heard and understood, thus my post. But it’s not “total alienation” in the sense that I am completely alienated, but that I am alienated at every level, analogous to “total depravity” in the Protestant tradition.
Isis chat
Well, in your case, I think that’s probably understandable.
bulb sorry for the highjack
Hijack away. I am also alienated from this thread. 😀
sorry your feel alienated
Thanks. I think I’ve done some serious damage to my reward pathways.
I had Thanksgiving dinner at a soup kitchen/homeless shelter once. It wasn’t a bad meal.
I didn’t want to eat with family members, but I wanted free turkey. There were a lot of people with mental issues there but that didn’t make the meal any less tasty. (I wasn’t homeless er anything). Those free kitchens are great.
fix them I think you sound cool
This is a small rural community, so it was low on the “mental illness” and high on the “down on luckness”.
I see. Not exactly a laugh factory where aspiring comedians test drive new material.
Nah, they were relatively upbeat. Just poor folks sharing a meal.
Seeing true suffering does have that effect. Even Bubbha felt that way in his dads palace. Maybe this will start the fire from within you to bring light to this darkend world.
It wasn’t that there was deep suffering; I think I just discovered that alienation is what exists immediately outside my own head right now. Or maybe that connection is foreign to me right now, and there is a rebound effect.
I don’t know how much light can emerge from a darkened soul.
Tons of light that burns brighter then ten thousand suns…. Sorry buddhist view world built on suffering. He used that word to explain many things…. Use this to teach others? Things we care about doesnt matter when others want water and food.
If I get through my current crises relatively intact, I may be able to teach others. For now, I just need to get through.
For what its worth i believe you will. Life is always about putting ourselves back together. Might be missing parts but we lived. Good luck my friend.