I remember the angry little boy who stumbled across this place a long time ago. Full of hate, despair, self loathing and more than his fare share of booze. He was so pissed off when he went through the trouble of singing up only to realise that this wasnt a place to discuss methods or to find a suicide partner, which were the two things he came looking for. Lashing out at those who offered help, more like a rabid animal than anything else, exploding his nonsensical bullshit across a comunity who should have kicked his sorry but off their site and continued on their own, hard, struggle to get through every day in the hopes that maybe, just maybe the next day would be better. But instead of that these wonderful people took that idiot in, treated him like one of their own, domesticating him enough to get him to stick around. When a caring, sympathetic ear was needed there was always two or three ready to listen. When there was nothing but rage, drunken or sober spewing out there was always someone there to vent at or with. When getting away from life, suspending reality for a night with stories and jokes was needed everyone was there to pitch in. Whenever loneliness and despair crept in there was always a family of people a click away who never let him feel lonely ever again. Slowly, bit by bit, they took that erratic and stupid kid and helped him, saved him from himself and the darkness that had grown so strong inside him. help was always there, whenever it was needed, no matter what the problem this place went above and beyond without any expectation of getting anything back. This place housed, the best of humanity, despite them being in the worst of circumstances in their own life they could always be counted upon to bring some comfort, you didnt even have to ask, just show up and help was ready. I never did get to thank all those people who saved my sorry ass, from the first day i came here up to now. I know a lot of them don’t come here anymore but hopefully they will know just how much they mean to me, without this place and its members, i dont think id be still alive right now. I think one of the most important lessons, for me, that i learnt here can be summed up in a mark twain quote “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” I dont think i ever fully realised just how much anger there was inside of me, distorting everything and choking off every positive emotion that i felt until i was nothing but darkness and rage. It took alot of wise people along time to help me realise that. In order to move on from depression i had to let go of all that anger, to forgive and forget and learn to accept the actions of others were not my problem, that the only thing we can controll is our reactions, we can choose to not get angry, to let nothing but peace and love into our hearts, thats the only way to fight depression. I wont give a full list of all those who have helped me, it would be impossible. i will give as good a list as i can and hope i didnt leave anyone out.
Ama… I have to start with you, Amakua, i wonder when i first came along did you see what my sorry ass might become? I think you must have known. because you never once gave up on me, it wasnt an easy time for you id imagine but you never once let go, you put up with all my bullshit, never once tried to rush me on my path but instead guided me every step, a voice of wisdom and strength, i think above all others I owe you the most, this is a woefully inadequate thank you and way too late but you helped take an angry little kid and turn him into a reasonably healthy “adult” (im still not a fan of this adulting buisness) i wont ever forget what an amazing lady you are.
One_Day… Its funny, i always viewed you and ama as somewhat of a tag team, opposite sides of the same coin. Your advice and insight gave a depth of meaning to alot of things for me, there was more than one occasion when i was going to go off on a narrow minded rant and a comment from you made me pause and re-evaluate not only my point of view on the topic but on myself and my “inner demons”. You helped me grow up and stop being the petty self absorbed ass i could be, a certain real world perspective that was invaluable, i only wish i could have helped you as much as you did me.
SolitaryWalker… Sol, you were there for me, at some of my darkest moments, when i was so very erratic you were there to help keep me grounded, and to help me forget life when it became too much. you were a life line for me for long enough to get me some bit close to stable, i wish i had been as good to you as you were to me. i hope you do follow your dreams, lifes too short not to.
GoodGirl… i dont think this site has ever seen a more gentle, kind and loving a soul as you, i always remember your incredibly calming influence over this place, on more than one occasion you talked my ass down off the ledge, i dont think i ever apologized for making you worry but your presence was a blessing on eveyone you met, a true saint who always helped out no matter how hard it was you always stayed around, and for that im grateful.
DukeofMarmalade… Dom buddy, the first user on this place i considered like a brother I often came by here for no other reason than to hang out and chat with you, you could always make me forget about life, in a way i looked up to you, you were the type of guy anyone would be lucky to know, and i think i was extremely lucky to get to meet you and i hope your still going strong out there in the world man.
Causeway… another man i was incredibly lucky to meet, you had a maturity and attitude that i couldnt help but listen to, i learned alot from you and i still have that book you sent me, an interesting read to say the least! I hope your troubles sorted themselfs out man, you are such a great guy you deserve only the best.
Nicky… Its been so long since we talked through the site i forget your username, i only remember the real name, you helped me feel normal, like this wasnt some rare thing, to be suicidal, for the first time you made me feel that it was ok, and you also got me into two great bands, that i still listen to even now, i must drop you an email soon.
Misunderstood… Ria… i dont even know where to begin with you, you did so much for me, and you let me help you so much, i know ive told you how much u mean to me so ill leave it there.
Clevername… a behemoth on this sight, you brought knowledge and wisdom, illuminating the darkest parts of this place with advice that was nearly always right, you were instrumental, in helping me fight back depression. time and time again you came here and helped everyone you could reach, taking time to write out responses, often longer than the original post in order to help those inneed, you fight your own demons yet made time for everyone elses, you are a hero of this sight, a man who means a great deal to me, i hope your doing okay buddy, i owe you so much.
PainNLife… bro, another man who became like a brother to me, i think of all the users you rivaled clevername, not only in sheer brains but your selfless helping of others, you brought so much to this place, and so much to me personally, you helped me reach the point im at today, whenever i needed help you were there, you faught your own problems but yo never seemed to let them get in the way of helping those who needed it on here, this place isnt the same without you buddy, come back soon. i miss chatting with you!
RealTalk… Rt man. i have been on this site for a long time, ive seen alot of people come and go, make impressions and fade away. but i have never seen someone come here with as much heart as you man, you have had so many knocks in life bro, but you keep going, you bring so much to this place. some members come here and just change the place by being here, you are one of those guys. I feel humbled to be near you man, you are just so strong, you fight when other would buckle under the pressure of half of what you hold up, i know its hard man, i know your teatering on the edge, but please keep going, you are owed so much and i feel honoured to have met you brother.
Kills… buddy, brother you hit this site like a heavy wight boxer, you impact everyone, a strong force that has helped so many people, you can bring people up just by being around, a truly amazing feat. I know you have your demons but your still a great guy so dont you ever give in, your too important to this place and i for one would miss you like crazy man so keep coming back, things may be tough, but with us in your corner your way tougher than anything life can throw your way.
Tristeza… you are an amazingly kind woman, i feel privileged to know, your kind words have often brought a smile to my face, and made a cold dark night seem warmer and brighter, the world needs more people like you
rocketman… Buddy, you bring a party wherever you go, a hot tub party! :p haha but seriously your one cool dude, and rather inspirational, people could do alot worse than turn out like you man, your one hell of a man, and im privileged to know you, so keep rocking on, your only as old as you act, you twenty year old :p
Salt… never before have i met a man i so wanted to slap! some of your posts have had me beside myself with worry, tho lucky for me i read them all recently so i knew the turn out :p you are alot like my buddy RT, two great and wonderful men who life took a dump on. but you still try, you come here and you help those who need it, despite how much you struggle you can always be seen somewhere on here giving advice and helping out, and i for one have found myself quite enjoying the opertunity to talk with such a brilliant and decent man.
Gaara… when we were new users i dont think i gave you as much time as i should have had, a bit too self obsessed unfotunatly and i missed the chance to get to know a wonderful person sooner, but i shall make up for that, i get the impression, from back then and now that you are a lovely person, who deserves much better than to be slumming it with the likes of me :p
To all the others who have helped me i appolagise for leaving out your name, its nearly four in the morning here so im a bit forgetful but i want ye to know i love ye for all ye have done for me.
And to those who allowed me to help them, or atleast were polite enough to not tell me to go fuck myself i want to thank ye for the oppertunity to reach out to ye. life may be hard but it can be enjoyed, keep fighting, when your at the bottom theres only one way to go!
Peace & Boundless Love
Procel
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Procel.. you, like many of the people you mentioned are one of the most selfless and caring individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of conversing with. I cant even put myself in the same category as most of you.
When I first came here..I was desperate to spread strength through my experience and positive attitude at a time when I felt life was getting better for me. I had some previous experience helping and guiding others, to which this place seemed to call out to me to continue to do so. At first, not realizing the full gravity of how deep a lot of people’s stories went.. I started out making a lot of folks angry at me.. with them declaring that it was easier said than done to have strength and want to stay alive. I remember I’d argue with Noonoo, a young female with a headstrong stubbornness.. and also with the duke, who seemed relentless at proving my ignorance in understanding exactly what depression is amongst everyone here, and how some people simply can’t get better.
I’ve more times than not, been a controversial character around these parts.. but you, my friend have always accepted me and called me brother. You’ve showed me that I’m not alone and that it’s ok to have bad days. You’ve helped me learn kindness and compassion for people I’ve never even met..increasing my patience with others. And to know you still consider me in the way that you have since I first got here, warms my heart and makes this time in my life seem like it has a way out that isn’t suicide.
I’m never the best at thank yous..but
You are the best of us all, Procel.
We will always be brothers no matter where we end up in life.
And i will always be thankful for that
Ok
You’re the man Procel! I love you buddy I’m honoured that you would have me in this list. You’ve impacted me like GSP would if he had me in a triangle choke. Irreversibly changed. Thank you for your existence, man. You are a brother to me. We’ll keep walking together, forever dear friend.
@anyone who thinks I’m just a piece of shit.. just read this please. Thanks 😉
Proc! For what it’s worth, it’s my fear of the dreaded Procel slap that keeps me in line these days 🙂
I truly don’t remember the “angry little boy” of which you speaketh. But maybe I was just as angry back then & cheering you on. This site does have an amazing way of dousing the demons, and it’s really interesting (if not flat out embarrassing) to compare our earliest posts with our latest.
Your words are much appreciated as always my friend. And to all you newbie Procel-in-trainings who just joined the site and are reading along, take heed from the Wise One Procel for his journey has been long and hard. And he shall slap you too if you stray from the path haha.
That’s an impressive list of VERY awesome and outstanding people. I couldn’t agree more with many of the sentiments. I do remember the wild and unruly, angry Procel … but for all your anger you were at least “open” to ideas posted by the people who reached out … and THAT has to be fundamental to anyone who visits here.
It’s fine to be skeptical and untrusting but one HAS to at least be open to listen. Of course just listening, although a start, you DID want to change despite not believing you COULD actually do so. I can only assume you mulled over some of the thoughts, ideas and advice and took a couple out for a test drive … you learned that you could trust and that so people will help without “payment” or strings attached. But you’ve built a new foundation – a more stable one – and that’s a credit to you and your will and perseverance.
As one of the older members here – I know it takes time, and we NEVER stop learning … but it seems too many of the younger generations expect immediate gratification … the universe isn’t built that way – no matter what your worldview or how many technological advancements are made … humans MUST put in the work and effort … you, Procel, did. Congrats.
I hope some of the younger member will read this and realize change IS possible – but you HAVE to be willing to work for it and be patient … change is incremental … tiny steps at a time … like biological evolution. But over time, when you work at positive change, after a while you’ll notice that all those teeny tiny baby steps have moved you a long way from where you were (or are now) … take a moment to listen and consider if someone would waste time trying to tell you something useless. I know for me, I hate typing – so if I feel something is worth saying I’ll say it … but if you’re absolutely closed and resolute to stay where you are, why should I bother even trying – sure it will pain me that a person chooses to be so resolute.
So to the young visitors – at least come here with at minimum, and open mind to hear new things … maybe even try a couple of them. Ya gotta crawl before you walk and walk before you run … each step takes time and practice, and you’ll fall a few times – but get up and move forward and try again … eventually you’ll get it.
thankful dawg
Great post. Thanks for the shout-out, Procel.
@rt, ah buddy, all i do is talk bullshit and people take me seriously, go figure! :p
I remember when u first showed up man, you look back and see a guy who was head strong and spouted what he believed regardles of feelings. I saw a pillar of strength (and still do) who was a beacon of support and overall force for the fight agaisnt depression. granted others saw it differently but for me u always were a force of good on this sight brother. I thought you nothing my brother, i just nudged you on the path to understanding the members of this place 😉 we better always be brothers! no matter what happens im gonna be here, if u need me, drop me an email and ill be there.
@Killjoy, brother no list of gratitude is complete without you, you impact this place as much as it impact you, we shall always be brothers!
@Salt haha brother you are mistaking, for you… theres a special kick up the but waiting, not just an ordinary slap! :p that angry little boy was a long time ago, back in 2011 if memory serves, he was a guy who screwed up exams and droped out of college, id love to ring his neck! i wish i had my old posts to read, i deleted most of them, the ones i have left are sad but from a more recent time
@Dawg see this is why i didnt want to write this post, because i knew id leave out an amaizing member, and here it is, i left out one of the best, you… man im sorry i did that, you helped me so much and i know you have alot of people on here, and people who left here who know you and apreciate your help. im sorry i left you out of your rightful place buddy, you deserve a place of high honour ob the sp wall of heroes, what you say here fills me with so much emotion i actually struggle to write ( hence so long writing the respond to each comment) you make it sound like every step i made on this sight was a positive step, and i apreciate that. you are one of the best of us brother, never forget that!
@Gaara haha dont thank me just yet, you now have my undevided attention as i focus on trying to help you, thank me afterwards, if you can :p
Hey Procel … don’t sweat it … If I had a nickel for every time I brain farted some memory or other, I’d have more than enough to solve half the problems that brought me here 😛
Every step you made here WAS a positive step 🙂 each step was a day that you postponed what you intended and persevered for a little while longer – you didn’t give up and give in – that’s ALWAYS a positive. Not only that, but you leaned to help others despite your own situation – that’s huge! Sure, we all need to look after ourselves … but it’s also important for us, as humans, to try and help others with no expectation of reward or recognition – that’s how legacies are created 😉
I’ve often said, that no matter my own situation or eventual outcome … the least I can do is impart the knowledge and experience I’ve learned over the years in hopes that others will avoid some of the difficulties and heartbreaks I dealt with in life … some will listen, others will ignore – and that’s OK, that’s their choice. As long as I know I made an effort where I could, I’m good with that – at peace with that aspect of my life. Procel, no matter where your road goes or how your story ends, at least do that – help others, listen – when you can do so safely. You don’t need to go out of your way – it can be as simple as giving a smiling “hello” to a person on the street … holding a door open, or even saying an earnest “thank you” to a person who held the door for you. These seemingly effortless/mindless actions can make all the difference in how someone experiences and views the world around them – it can mean all the difference.
peace and happiness to you my friend 🙂
guide dawg
@ Dawg, you truely are one of the wisest members this place has to offer. and i fully agree with your beliefe that helping others without expectation of reward is how we truely leave a lasting mark. and i know very well that you have made effort, time and time again to help the members of this place, and im sure in real life aswell. and you have made a great difference in alot of lifes,
humble procel 😉
Age and experience have given me WAY too many opportunities to make life altering mistakes … so it’s my intent to impart that knowledge to others so they have the opportunity to avoid the mistakes and outcomes I’ve dealt with. In a more perfect world, more older folks would share their experiences and more younger folks would listen more intently 😉
Thanks for your kind words – it’s my pleasure to help where I can
error dawg
@Dawg haha the older i get, the more i realise just how much better off id be if i actually listened to people older and wiser than me, yet i still think i know more than everyone and refuse most advice if it goes against what i believe, unless it comes from a suicide forum for some reason.
A couple this here – and believe me, I know where you’re at/coming from regarding “knowing more than everyone” – I’ve been “there” most of my life:
1. Knowing when advice is “worth” listening to … determine first, what the motivation for the advice is and does that motive benefit the advice giver in any way? But also remember that not all motives are equal, selfish or malevolent. For instance, a policeman may tell you to cross the street at a certain time and place … sure, he may get personal satisfaction from the power of commanding people to do what he wants, but he is likely also motivated by your safety and he may honestly not want to have to write a citation and see you pay a fine for non-compliance.
2. Ask yourself why you “believe” what you believe – what is the OBJECTIVE factual foundation for your beliefs … be honest when asking this – you MUST remove your feelings and preferences to get an honest fact-based answer … and it helps (a lot) if you are prepared to change your mind based on the evidence – which you should ALWAYS be prepared to do.
3. Weigh the cost of doing something that follows your strongly held “beliefs” versus doing something the way you were advised … the example of the policeman can be used here again – you may be perfectly convinced that it is safe to cross the street at any time and place you desire … BUT you risk the COST of getting the citation, arrest, fines, court appearances etc. of you disobey the law despite your strongly held beliefs that you are safe.
In the end – is it “worth it” to stick to and follow your “beliefs” of safety in my policeman example? Or is it better to just take an extra 10 seconds to walk to the street corner and cross at the signal and avoid risking the COST of a citation altogether?
I know the world is FAR more complex that this simple example – but sometimes is worth taking the time to reassess what we think we believe and what the possible consequences are. On of my friends gets angry at bad/slow drivers on the road when we drive places … but it’s funnier to me that he gets irritated with me because I don’t get angry at these drivers – I calmly weigh the situation … is it “worth it” to get angry and race past the slow driver only to be parked next to that slow driver at the next traffic signal – not to me 😉 … and I’m not angry and frustrated when that happens because I didn’t get angry in the first place. I’m not is SO much of a hurry where I need to waste gas, drive riskier and get my blood pressure up … I can spare a minute of time … it’s only a minute 🙂 … a minute that I’m safe and at peace without a speeding ticket 😛
patient dawg
@dawg, i always love your outlook in life man, if only more people shared it. i think the example of the police man works out quite well, the basic principal translates. i guess most of the people who give me advice gain nothing beyond the satisfaction of seeing me in a better place, i think for me pride is my main obsticle, not any ingrained belief, i form opinions and am too prideful and stubron to concider myself wrong as much as i should. i guess i should be more open to all advice, see if everyone presented their points like you there would be no problem haha! i personally love when im in the car with someone who gets pissed off at slow drives, zoomz past them and ends up at the lights with them, i always find it helarious.
There’s nothing wrong with having pride (in general) but it’s important that what you have pride in is worth being prideful of. One can have pride in being strong or intelligent … but what does it look like if you use strength to bully and intimidate others? Or intelligence to plan en execute the perfect crime … like say … hacking a bank’s computer and stealing money?
I run into people every day that are intelligent but they’re so obstinate and stubborn with their position that they refuse to see that there is a flaw in their logic/intellect … I want to be correct with my intelligence. In order to do that I HAVE to be willing to review, weigh and accept new evidence. To be correct, you have to accept that you might be wrong or ignorant (classic definition – uninformed/unaware) of certain information. Being “right” is more than just WANTING to be right because you “believe” you’re right. Being right/correct needs evidence and factual foundation.
Believe me what I say – I HATE being wrong and I LIVE to be right 😛 😉 … but it really chaps my ass to be PROVEN wrong in a discussion/debate. Be even still, I’d rather that I be proven wrong than to continue through life being flat wrong – especially when there is evidence that PROVES me wrong … that would be humiliating. This is because I value truth and factual evidence over being right. Of course I can be skeptical of any evidence that someone brings that contradicts my current beliefs … but if I am wrong, ignorant or misinformed, and there is evidence that proves this – I’m only hurting myself by maintaining my incorrect beliefs of one minute more.
For instance – I went most of my life unquestioningly believing in god and the bible … until evidence was produced that showed what a hot mess the bible was and how it was created, written, and rewritten and translated by hundreds of people over several hundred years. And there’s tons more evidence that – although, it doesn’t disprove the existence of god – it certainly makes it exceptionally unlikely that any god exists in any capacity described by humans throughout all time/history. An what evidence do people who believe in god point to as their ultimate proof? Their “holy” scriptures, the bible/torah/koran etc. … welp – but we have evidence that ignorant humans with very earthly and mortal motives wrote those books. So that “evidence” becomes suspect … it can’t be trusted to be what they claim it to be … so what other evidence do they have? Well, quite frankly … none! They told me I had to “listen to my heart” (which is an organ that pumps blood) and/or “have faith” … well – these arguments are another way of saying “Believe me because I said so” … or “Believe because you’ll go to hell if you don’t” (a threat)
NO!
Where do they get “hell” from? The Bible … but we don’t value that as reliable evidence so … and around and around it goes. Does god exist? Honestly – I do not know, and I cannot “prove” a god does NOT exist … but what I do know is, there is no solid (or even weak and shaky) evidence that proves a god DOES exist. All evidence used to support a god is unreliable and refutable.
Now I can tell you honestly – life would probably be easier if I just “believed” in god as the majority of the world does. But I would not be being honest with myself, and that, to me, would be self destructive.
In much the same way – I didn’t find a “need” to be “first” to a stop light … or “ahead” of the other car/driver … the “value” of being “first” to the stop light wasn’t worth the risk to my health, well being and driving record/license. 😀 I agree is IS funny when you think of the rage, risk and energy someone expends to get to a stop light 3 seconds before you do … what did they “win”? LOL
reasonable dawg
@Dawg, you have a point. i find pride to be more of a nuisance than anything because it stops people from being willing to entertain the notion that they could be wrong (yet i find myself in that situation anyway). as you say, in order to be right you have to be open to the possibility you may be wrong and work to improve and back up your views.
Lol the part about hating to be proven wrong just put a strong image of every religion in the world into my mind. If they had been willing to entertain the notion of being wrong, how many crusades might have been avoided, haha and then i read the next paragraph and you bring up religion lol. yes i am much the same in that regard. personally tho while i believe the religious argument is pointless as it is impossible to prove either point of view i still like to believe in something, only because its more of a comfort than believing in nothing. Its not about honest or dishonest with yourself, for me its more i like to believe something out there is at work, be it karma or whatever. do i, on an intelectual level think its possible? not really, but it brings a certain level of peace to choose to believe in something bigger.
and as for the red light, i think the guy who pulls up second gets the win, less energy expended and same result, thats my definition of a win! 😉
@Procel … I gotta disagree with you – at least to some degree – regarding the religious “argument” and it being “pointless”. It very much has a point and grave consequences from those zealots that believe with 110% blind conviction … and as you point out, it’s these people who brought us the crusades and ISIS and priests who diddle little boys and all manner of vile actions based on “belief/faith”. If you can at least get them to see how their actions hurt people, they make stop and think before opening their mouths or casting stones (or putting on explosive vests).
You don’t say what it is that you are tacitly choosing to believe for that comfort so it would depend on whether or not it causes any harm. Now I get that the average deist who uses an abstract and hands off “god” like a place holder (like “x” in algebra) until the big questions start becoming known, there isn’t much harm in that at all as long as it doesn’t become a catchall terminus for your critical thinking mind (Example: I don’t know therefore god did it).
And although you are correct that either positive assertions:
“I know god exists”
“I know god does NOT exist”
… cannot be proven, an OBJECTIVE review of the evidence available at least suggests that one of these is MUCH more likely to be true (god does NOT exist) than the other.
I personally find that a universe without god(s) is infinite and any/all things are possible … in the world where god does exist – I can’t masturbate, have casual sex, I can’t like gay people, I can’t eat shrimp, I can’t wear cotton/wool blended fabrics and I have to treat women like dumb possessions, and I have to kill people that don’t believe in my god … that’s religion/god – this I reject out of hand. To believe in a world/universe with a god in it is suffocating and stifling.
It’s funny when religions say “without god, people would murder rape and steal with impunity” … well, they ARE “sorta” correct … I have no god that constrains me from doing these things – I actually do DO them ALL that I want. Every single day:
I murder all the people I WANT to – zero
I rape all the people I WANT to – zero
I steal any and everything I WANT to – zero
and so on …
I do not need a bible to tell me not to do these things – it would HURT ME to do these things … I don’t need a non-existent being to judge my actions – I have to judge them myself and society has created law the have real life consequences like loss of liberty if I break these laws – not my idea of a good time … so I don’t need the concept of a fantasy pit of fire where I’ll roast for eternity if I decide eat bacon or some other “unclean” animal. There simple is no evidence for a supernatural judge/justice … when we die, we’re done and our elements go back to nature for other organisms to build their lives.
All that said, we’re not all that far apart, you and I. The major difference (based on this conversation) is that I simply give no credibility in anything that has no supporting evidence … on ALL levels, intellectual and beyond 😉 Karma is a cool concept … but it’s fantasy based on anecdotal observations, wishful thinking and percentages of likelihood … the more good you do, the more likely goodwill will return to you, the more bad you do, the more likely that bad events will befall you … nothing mystical there 😉
there’s no need to “win” in life … only to succeed at the current task as efficiently as possible – so by that definition, the “red light” can be a win … but it’s simply success since most times when you cost up and time the light, you never have to actually stop 😛
decently positive yet yet godless dawg
@Dawg, what i meant by pointless is that there is no way to get a definitive answer, untill you die that is. so arguing over it achieves nothing good. as you say, all it brings is zelots, who distort religion to excuse their behaviour
Well what i choose to believe is simple and very vague. i like to believe that the universe itself plays a part in everything we do, a small part the gently guids those who know what to look for and those that are willing to trust in something beyond themselves. energy cannot be created or destroyed, merely changed from one state to another (who says science in school is useless!) basically we are all created form the matter in the universe, it stands to reason we are all connected by that matter and as such it has some small hand in how we turn out, i think my view allows for infinite possibilities throughout every galaxy and i like that.
I agree a rigid religion is limiting but i think its more about choosing to believe something bigger than us and our ability to comprehend. i think all established religions are stupid, especially all the rules to get into heaven or whatever, live according to your conscience and die with as few regrets as possible, thats all that matters.
haha i get what your saying with regards to karma, it is basically a comfort to those without the ability to exact revenge, a comfort that something else will take care of it, its a silly belief but at the end of the day, whatever helps you sleep at night is a good thing, ignorance is indeed bliss, i sometimes think if we were all a bit more ignorant we would all be a lot happier!!
Haha but that costing up to the light and not having to stop is like the definition of winning at life, taking a smooth path forward and going with the flow, thats what i class as the way to live haha