Reasons to fight on?

I feel like the most pathetic person in the world. I hate almost everything in my life, and so i know i deserve it when i say i have no friends. My colleagues hate me, they make fun if me and bully me, i am not sure if bully is the right word for what they have done to me but that’s just how i feel. Everyday i wake up thinking “how am i going to get over this hopeless day?” I sometimes just want to stay in bed and not going to work not going to meet anyone just stay alone. But i am a coward, i am afraid what i do might hurt anybody who cares about me. Actually every time i feel i cant take anymore i would just lock myself in my room and slap my self in the face or pierce myself with needles why needles? Cause i dont even have the courage to cut myself. How pathetic, i know people always have someone to talk to when they feel hopeless or something, but i dont, even people i love or people who say they love me dont want to talk to me, i know it when i talk to them about how desperate or depressed i feel, they all say it is me myself to blame. So i never talk to them about my feelings now, i feel no hope now i just need reasons to stay alive or is that too much to ask to be happy