The guy I love has his life and a ton of friends. I can see how we’re not as close already. I have no one and he doesn’t understand. He honestly thinks he’s been rejected more than I have but I call bullshit because I’m rejected from every damn thing for my looks even for a place to stay! I’ve been told I don’t look human and shouldn’t be allowed outside. I literally am homeless because I’m too ugly for anyone to accept my money as payment for rent. I’m laying on the floor at work for fuck’s sake and it’s the first time I’ve laid down in two weeks. I can’t believe the big boss left without making me leave too. Surely they know the temptation I have to stay here??? I feel so fucked ng payhwtic, useless, unwanted and unimportant. I guess I could be falling out of love too. I see just how insignificant I am. I thought that in this heat though, it’s going to be too hot to lay my head down on railroad tracks. I’m probably stuck waiting for the 1 day of fall this city gets. I live in a place that only has 2 seasons – Antarctica and Death Valley. Which is what postponed my suicide last winter… just too fucking cold and frozen over. Why did I have to be born at all? I should’ve turned around when I still had my truck and about $900, gone to Cabella’s, bought a shotgun and offed myself then, back in January 2014. I should’ve died then and saved myself from a year of homelessness and the 10 millionth ultimate rejection.
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9 comments
If you got a bf and a job, I don’t think you could be quite that hideous-so I’m sure you can find some place to rent.
I’d strongly suggest finding a place to live because of the real life horror stories that happen to homeless people. I won’t even get into it, but trust me-you need a place to stay so you’re safe at least from the psychos out there.
As for suicide that’s for you to decide….some unattractive people still do well in life, look at Jay-Z and Dennis Rodman or Carrot-Top, or the hideous billionaires out there.
I’m jealous/glad you put yourself out there. I’m barley able to cope with one rejection. So, instead, I crawl into myself.
I saw your pics, I don’t think you are disgusting. You look very human to me. Life is cruel, you can either rise above it or sink (I think I’m sinking…).
Sorry the one you love doesn’t understand. It’s dangerous to try and really connect with someone. Special, when you are lucky enough to find someone you can be yourself with.
Is there someway I can help? stoicide gmail.com
No I don’t have a boyfriend. He won’t give me a chance ever. Looks come first in his world.
Unattractive females never do well in life – be they cis or transmale identified.
Only way I sense not offing myself as the little better is there is one more soul that helps someway. My concern is to like off myself nicely before some real horrible thing happens like war, financial collapse or getting rearranged by hospital if I fall sick and need organs removed or amputated. Too bad the suicide type thinking is also harmful and adds in P.T.S.D. Maybe you’ll find some comfort that your not strange or alone in here. Try this, it works some… man, how is it this is not, was not me or you? https://youtu.be/8Kbv0BeZZSw
You are not disgusting. Society is disgusting.
This.
Agreed
I know. Men treat the not pretty girls like they don’t…we don’t exists. Or have feelings.