I don’t know what to call this.

Hi. This is my first post on here, and I think that this would help me a lot, considering I’m feeling like a sealed time bomb. Call me Cyn. I’m a teen, but I’ve been through a lot. Lately, I’ve been feeling like nothing. I have the very popular, “things feel like they’re getting worse” and “I feel like my mind is being taken over.” I’m not okay. I don’t have anti depressants, I live off Advil. My mother hates me, and so do my aunts and my grandmother. My whole family hates me; on my mother’s side at least. My boyfriend is the only person who knows what I’m going through, and he’s the only one who makes me feel like I matter. But, maybe because I don’t have my family’s love, I don’t feel like I’m complete. Like everyone is at least a 50% completion and I’m a 10%. I lie in bed every day, almost all day. I don’t eat much anymore. I can go days without eating. I don’t see a point in doing a lot of things anymore. Anything, actually. I don’t have my dad anymore. My dads side of the family doesn’t stay in touch with my life much. I don’t have any friends that know what’s going on or care enough to call or check in to see if I’m okay. And I’m not. Sometimes I just want to end it all and I don’t like that it went from little, little to none, a few, and now it’s constant questioning of, “should I do it?” This site might help me. Crossing my fingers, hoping that it does.