For as long as i can remember i felt like i dont belong. As i get older i feel it even more. I cannot die tho i welcome the thought. You see i have kids and grandkids. But most of the time i feel they wud be better off without me around. Everything i touchgoes to crap. Everyone i love leaves. I tried to end my life twice a long time ago and failed at that just as i fail at everything. I am now in the middle of my 4th divorce and have finally figured out i am meant to be alone. I just feel dead inside and everyday i fight the desire to get in my van and go and never look back. I couldnt even stop my little sister from hanging herself last year. I feel so empty and dead. I feel like i gotta get out of where i am to try to live but i know i cant. I am just stuck waiting for a life i didnt ask for and dont want to end.
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You dont have to feel unbelonged with people who u sucks with, maybe new friends who may accept you? Go for a walk? Think about everyone every step, sometimes just let go, it might not be your fault dont be that depressed, you dont mean to be alone i mean at least here youre not alone, im sure many here would accept u. During the walk maybe you can do some soul search, it may still stay worse after it or u may have come up to some solutions after it, i usually run till i feel better, till i forget about this world, it works.
Youre good, hang on, hope ull feel better day after day
I understand your pain – I’m a mother of 4, 2 granddaughters – 2 divorces and more than my fair share of misery. You are not alone – I know that’s how you feel – but its not true – so many people on this site say nearly the same thing in a lot of their posts – “I just want to be loved” or “I just want the pain to stop” – I myself have not found the answer yet- but just know that you are NOT alone – I am 49 – I would have thought I’d have life somewhat figured out by now.. unfortunately that’s not the way it works – I wish none of us here needed to feel the way we do – but for now, hear the cry on all the hearts here – and take solace in the fact that you have found a place to be listened to.
i completely agree. i also feel like rejection is my theme in this life. its scary because i am 34 years old, thinking back to being a kid, never feeling like i belonged. just never “clicked” in this life. i had an amazing man that loved me, and i wanted something more and now he does not want me back. i have tried dating, and i get rejected every time. it is an awful feeling. i have no solid relationships to speak of, no job, i feel like i wish my parents never met. my father is bi-polar, and it runs in the family. i have depression and anxiety, but no matter what medication i take, i feel like i am just wasting time. i dont have kids. i just feel so alone and if i had or could get ********, i would take it in a second. i know my family would be sad, but they would understand. i just dont want to be here anymore, it feels hard and i am tired of trying.