I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to live. If something naturally happened to end my life I would be relieved. I feel like my entire life has been one disappointment after the other. I feel like people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t look after them. I feel like my parents shouldn’t have had me, it was irresponsible. I feel like as a general rule, people are selfish, and through that I have been abused and irreparably damaged. I used to be so excited about things and life and was such a happy kid, but I’ve been through too much now. There is millions of people starving and dying, but what’s more important is a fancy car. And am I supposed to pretend there isn’t billions of animals being tortured and murdered each day, for human enjoyment? Is this how you stay sane, pretending it isn’t happening? But it is. I’m a realist and as excited I was for this world at the beginning, now I am just severely underwhelmed. I don’t want to be here, but I don’t want to kill myself. I just want to not exist.
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3 comments
I definitely can relate to feeling this way for much of my life.
I guess you are right there, pretending things aren’t happening are a huge component of staying sane nowadays. Some people don’t even know something is happening at all (and don’t want to know) because it makes them feel worse. On the other hand, the “truth” is always being controlled as well (media, governments, etc), so you have that to blame too.
In their defense tho, if you could choose between seeing an awful truth that they can’t (as individuals) change or just to be able to ignore it and take a quick look once in a while… can you blame them? i know it’s an awful way of living, but for some it’s just a coping mechanism. I do agree with everything you wrote (i share many of your opinions), but i have to admit that ignorance has its benefits.
I wish I’d never been born and I’m so unhappy. The older I get the more stressful life becomes and is it really worth it? I’m so bored of my life and would like to just up and leave my old life behind and travel to find something exciting. I’m constantly let down by other people’s selfishness and I ask myself how someone could be so ruthless and cruel to treat another human like that as we all have feelings… I’d like to think that I’d never treat anyone so badly however in turn I get treated like a doormat