i lost my mind before I even had one

I will start with writing about my life and will start with sharing information about a period slighty before that I came to exist in this world. In this period of life my my father-to-be and mother-to-be were going through a rough period of their relationship and which was not stable and while most people with common sense would work on the relationship or choose to go seperateways I had a mother who had a very different plan and apparantly wanted to keep my father with her for reasons unknown to me and in order to achieve this she made a hole in the condom , that they used before I was born and as I am sure you may have figured out by the fact that I have written this book is that they did not make the decision to spare me the misery of living among them by getting rid of me when it was possible and instead allowed me to be born in this life and which I can only describe as a sick joke towards me .
During the first years of my life I was supposed to have been a slow learner because I was late with walking and talking. But considering the environment in which I grew up it is not a suprise as this was not one where a child can develop properly and also the walking can be explained further as my feet had gotten stuck once between the wheels of a cycle while I sat in the back and damaged it which might also explain why one of my legs is slighty shorther then the other.
As far as I know there were no other major events and they were together for three years and later they broke up as the person who allowed me to exist in the first place had an affair with someone who would hit me as he was jealous that I existed and my mother left later with this person in order to protect me from him as he was jealous of the fact that I was not his child which I find highly pathetic and would advise any person who does this never to stand in-front of me.

This is how my life began and never improved.

This information was told to me by my father when I was living with him after having lived in an orphanage

The way how I became aware of this information was through my father who told me this after I moved back to him after having lived for several years in an orphanage (unaware of where my family was) and was the first moment that I clearly remember that I asked myself why my birth was not prevented after they had sex and also wonder why the condom had to be pierced in the first place as without this action I would not be on this planet right now.
For this reason I believe that birth control at whichever point should be allowed and if people do object to this then they should feel a responsibility to each child that is born by their meddeling influence in order to make sure that this child receives a childhood and life without hardships.
This information was told to me by grandmother also after being reunited after having lived in a orphanage and when I learned of this information I had every intention of finding him (which I had) and confronting him and ask him how he hit me as a child and to do it now once again now that I am an adult but through a brief conversation with a friend he convinced me not to go through with this.

This was the reason that was given to me by mother as she explained why she stayed with him when I briefly had contact with her and she thus confirmed what my grandmother had told me.