It’s strange how someone you would least expect to have suicidal thoughts, actually does. I’m one of those people, I have no reason to be thinking like this.. I’m a good guy (I hope), I’m nice, respectful, have a few good friends…
Unfortunately for me, although no one thinks I have, but I have come to a complete turn around emotionally. I feel like I am worthless, like no one cares.. I feel alone, even with my friends… It sucks, I’m someone who’ll put on a façade and act like everything’s grand, whilst on the inside I’m completely mangled, and because of this, I am rarely asked “are you okay?”.
Even when I tell one of my friends, who says “I’m here for you.” She doesn’t want to talk about my suicidal thoughts, she wants to act like this isn’t happening.. But it is, and it cannot be swept under the rug. And when I tell her that something is bothering me she immediately asks “do you think you’re the only one?” And I just sit there.. Because I know I’m not the only one, but she shouldn’t ask that.. Like really.. Sadness isn’t a competition… I don’t know if anyone can relate or not.. I’ve just kinda gone on a rant, now I’m tired.. I got football practice in the morning.. Goodnight or goodmorning to anyone reading this…
6 comments
I know what you mean, those damn hypocrites that’ll just make you feel worse.. and I have conditioning in the morning also, get some sleep!!
Friends don’t always understand deep feelings like that.. So either get a trained professional or get some first hand advice from here from people who experience this shit called suicide and everything that accompanies it.
You’re absolutely right. I’m trying to put myself into my friend’s shoes.. It must very stressful listening to other people’s suicidal thoughts, especially a friends… Which is why I’ve turned to this website, it surprisingly helps a lot, Thank you for your comment
I can relate to you in a lot of ways. When my friends found out I was depressed/suicidal they were shocked. “You always seemed to be the happiest kid at school.” Turns out, I’m a good actor. Because of that, I was never asked if I was okay either, like you. I got friends that say “I’m here for you. No matter what time it is, I’m here.” But if you talk to them, most of them are sick of hearing it and don’t care all that much, they just don’t want the guilt of ignoring me when I finally do decide to take my life. My therapist forced me into the hospital and I had to take classes with other depressed people and also addicts. It’s a good way to talk because unlike your friends, they understand what you are going through because they are going through the same thing whether it may be a better situation or a worse situation. Talk to people on here, people care. I care. I don’t know you at all but God knows I wouldn’t want you to kill yourself or anything like that. Take care. You can talk to me if you need anything.
Hey, thank you.. For caring.. Especially about some random stranger on the Internet… It’s hard, but knowing that people can relate to you.. And having websites like this, and people like you.. It becomes a little easier.. Thank you for your comment
No problem at all. Use this website to your advantage. It’s a good feeling knowing people care about you and it feels good to try to help out other people on this website. I hope things turn around for you. Depression is a serious thing man so be careful. If you need anything you can talk to me or talk to any of the nice people on here. Best of luck to you. Kick some ass in football!