Hello, this is my first post.
I’ve read a few posts on this site since i started using it yesterday. I see a lot of you has been struggling since your childhood. You had it hard. You had a lot of problems.
I cant relate to that. My life has been “very good” since I can remember. My family wasnt the best, but they all love me and are very nice. I have great friends, the best i couldve found. I look good and I’m really smart. I got to know what love is and STILL ive been contemplating suicide ever since I was 15.
It’s very hard to feel like this when there’s (aparently) nothing wrong with you. I’m studying psychology and I believe in a theory that says that every crisis we have is our head trying to tell us something. I told my therapist about it and he agreed, depression is trying to tell me something… But I cant see what “it” wants me to see! Everyday I wake up and wish I was normal. Wish I could make use of everything I have.
My head isnt working properly, I don’t even remember what i wanted to write here or where i was going with my post lol
This is just hell on earth. Hell is inside my head and I cant get it out! I CANT GET IT OUT
I will be here for a while. 1 year. Hope I can be of any help to you all. Then I will catch the bus. This time I will not fail. Everything is ready!
8 comments
Hey there, hope you enjoy the stay (even if that sounds a bit ironic). You arrived at a time that we are particularly going bonkers and i’m not quite sure why (it’s sure been fun tho), but if you are not scared by that, welcome! lol.
I do agree with you in the head trying to tell you something. I don’t really know if there’s a time set for getting the answer to that, but some do get it when they least expect it, so who knows? you might get it before that year is gone. A key to that tho (in my experience) is not romanticizing “normal”, because… hey, is there actually someone completely normal? if there is, i haven’t met them yet in my lifetime.
Also… are we all studying psychology? lol.
The normal I mean is the person without the disease that’s ruining my life. A normal person would be someone free of this “demon” or “ghost” or whatever that’s inside of my head.
About psychology, yea, i noticed yesterday while reading some stuff here that there are other fellow psychologists in the website lol
I should be getting my degree by december if I didnt quit multiple times. Luckly, i cant lose my scholarship.
I feel like you, from what I’ve read at least. My life has been going swimmingly compared to what I’ve read, seen, and heard of other’s lives, but for some reason I’m still depressed. I feel bad about it and selfish because I’m smart, decent looking, make good money, have nice-ish things, a close family, and a great boyfriend. But I’m still depressed.
I don’t get it.
I dont get it either.
I feel sorry for everyone that has a way harder life. Im throwing mine away. Im sorry everyone.
It could have been an easy and happy life if it wasnt for the stupid thoughts inside my head. Its way stronger than me, i cant fight it.
Exactly. I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be depressed and I feel like that shit of a kid whose parents bought him a used car instead of a new one for his birthday. Like wow you have a loving, close family who buys you things you don’t necessarily need and you still throw a fit.
I feel so bad, because based on my life, I shouldn’t be depressed, really. I’m selfish for taking away attention that should be on people who have a reason to be depressed.
Lebuque, please don’t be sorry. It doesn’t matter how good your life is, or what you have. It’s about the depression and the pain you’re experiencing. You didn’t ask for this, if you could get rid of the hell inside your head I’m sure you would.
To be honest, I feel the same way. I really feel like I could make a better life for myself, but I’m being trampled by all this mental hell that it’s becoming impossible.
You are suffering and you deserve to be heard. I hope you find some comfort here. It’s very nice to meet you! 🙂
Thank you everyone. Thank you for understanding me. Yours words touched me, really.
I hope we all manage to get rid of these thoughts, i really do. I wish you all the best, honestly. Dont let the monster win.
Same to you. <3