6 months ago my best friend died. She had an asthma attack in the middle of the night. That is what put me over the edge. Before that my dad died in a car accident. When my best friend died my life spiraled. That same month I went to two other funerals. I started taking drugs to help me sleep. I had a short circuit. I blew up on my mom. I went to stay with my grandparents for awhile. I just feel like I’m being forgotten. At lunch my friends don’t notice if I’m not there, my family doesn’t mind that I hide in my room. I’m slowly fading to nothing. I just feel like a burden and maybe I am. I’m not worth
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People who should be there for you often don’t know how to deal with such emotions. You’re not wrong to FEEL. But others may not understand why or how you feel. Instead they just see someone acting out, or being rude. They might even be afraid of you. Grief and depression are scary things. No one wants to have to deal with them. But many of us have no choice.
It gets especially hard when you’re ignored completely. That is something I can greatly understand. Had they only taken the time to talk to you, or even attempt to understand you, things would’ve been better.
I think a lot of people simply hide their emotions and problems. If you can ignore them, then they must not be that bad. They see others who can’t and fear them because that it what they don’t want to happen to themselves.
Don’t think of yourself as pathetic. You’ve suffered some hard losses and needed someone to be there for you. But no one was. And that hurts.
@Saph is right in that it is okay for you to have emotions. I’m sorry to hear that you feel like you’re being ignored. I’m sorry too to hear of your losses, both of which must have been (and are) tough to work through. @Saph is right in that not everyone knows how to deal with emotions but it is important to note that your emotions are completely normal. Everything said it would be a good idea to speak with your parents and present your feelings. Yes, I realise that this is a hard and difficult thing to do but realise also that they may not know that you’re suffering; not everyone is able to read what someone is feeling and similarly too not everyone knows to ask. By speaking with your parents you at least give them the opportunity for help. Sometimes you can’t wait for them to come to you, you have to go to them. Remember that your parents are human….
Everything said, you are worth it. Don’t think otherwise. If talking with your parents is too overwhelming, talk with someone you trust. A teacher, school counsellor, priest, etc. Losing people you care about is tough. Not working through it is tougher.
Hang in there and remember that you’re loved.