Im 26 and never had a girlfriend. I watched a lot of porn and become a sex-addict. I fucked over 300 prostitutes last 5 years and i cant stop with this, it makes me feel so numb. When is see couples walking around i feel so angry and envious.
Suicide is inevitable
5 comments
Well, it depends on how you see things panning out in the long-term. I don’t know if there is anything else aside from what you have posted (ie. Socket anxiety, etc) but there can be help available for you; there are reasons why you are the way you are and do the things that you do, no different than everyone else. By identifying what these underlying matters are it can help bring rise to change.
it seems you have average financial status. tell us more about your looks and social interaction.
i’ve never had a real life boyfriend, only an online one who i’ve had for 5 years, so honestly half the time it feels like its not even real,and i also get angry when i see couples, grr i almost want to punch them in the face, i would never do that but…
Suicide is inevitable? It sounds to me like you are still trying to find an alternative, that is why you reached out, here on this site and haven’t done that final deed yet.
I am going to try to lay out the truth, and sometimes, honestly, it may hurt (but like surgery, it’s meant to help). But you’ve posted here for a reason — perhaps as a final desperate cry for help before that last straw.
Try replacing that addiction with a healthy alternative and see if that helps. I think you have been using sex itself to try to substitute for and to fill a much greater and deeper need that all human beings have and desire, and that is TO BE LOVED. This may be why you become angry at happy couples. And you may feel like you’ve been objectifying women and they’ve been just using you as a tool for money? And that you’ve also been deceived by them?
I believe you need to replace what’s not healthy or what has been causing you to suffer with what is healthy for you.
Stop doing what you HAVE been doing; make a change and turn things around. How so? You already hinted at the possible answer in your own post. You said that you’ve never had a girlfriend. Do you know why? Have you yourself been loving?
Have you been too shallow and made it all about the superficial and really have not tried to love, just use? I don’t think you should look for what you want, but for what you need. Have you TRIED to have an actual relationship with a woman?
Also always keep in mind what they say: It’s not so much about finding the right person, it’s about BEING the right one. Have you taken steps to improve yourself, to make you good husband material? And what makes a good husband? He’s respectful, he’s patient, he works hard to faithfully guide, provide for and to protect his family.
What makes a good wife? She’s respectful, thoughtful… And I would also say: Not a user and manipulator… She should also be someone who builds you up and helps people along, not tear them down.
There’s a lot to be said here, but you’ve made the right choice to reach out for help instead of going to that permanent point of no return (suicide). I hope things turn around for you.
Thanks for the replies.
Im to numb to answer now, i only feel alive when i have sex