I was sad for a long time after being out of a 5 year relationship with a woman who I deeply loved. I still haven’t found anyone yet, not near who much I adored my ex. I’ve slept with other girls and went on plenty of dates where woman have been interested in me, but I didn’t feel anything. I went on anxiety medication which didn’t help. Running was my savior but with starting school again, I have been stressed which has led to me drinking again (running took me away from this and my depression). I really have nothing to be depressed about anymore. Part of me thinks subconsciously, I hate being alone although I have adjusted well to being alone by exercising and losing weight. I am in great physical shape now, but my mental state seems to fluctuate frequently. I truly wish I wasn’t ever brought into this world. I could never end my life because of the pain it would leave my family members in so suicide is not an option although I wish it could be. Now I just can’t even state a reason for why I am sad though and it’s been 2 years of this. I used to be a very positive and upbeat person, but that is gone now. I want it back. Please give me advice or talk to me. Anything. I’m turning 25 in four days and I’m not even looking forward to it. I always loved my birthday because it was my one day of receiving attention for the year but now I don’t care about it and am seeing it as it is any other day. I don’t want anything, no gifts or birthday wishes. Weird for me to think like that. Sorry for the rambling, but it scares me that deep down, I really don’t even know why I’m sad anymore.
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Hi 🙂
I’ve had phases of depression since I was young, so I’m used to feeling sad without a reason… But I had a couple of years where it was much, much worse with lots of sudden panic attacks, and I was terrified that it was all happening beyond my control… I understand how scary it can be to feel that way. When you don’t have a reason behind it you can feel helpless to improve it. I think if you go through something that makes you deeply sad or depressed, sometimes it seems to stick even when your situation has improved somewhat. I think you can be that positive person again, given some time and hopefully help from others who have experienced similar.
Feel free to talk to me anytime.
Dear, I m also turning a year older in next 5 days.. There was time when i was so enthusiastic for my bdays but nw I hate them. U r young , take professional help ASAP before it goes out of hand!! Tke cre!!