This is my first post so I don’t know where to even start. First off I am so depressed and unhappy. Nothing can go right. The only people who are keeping me alive are my friends but my parents want to take them from me and pull me out of school. My whole family is so mean to me. They always say I’m stupid and lazy yet I do all my chores and I’m in AP and college courses. They get mad when I’m tired because apparently I shouldn’t be tired since all I do all day is sit at school and take notes. I DON’T JUST SIT AND TAKE NOTES! They don’t understand how stressful and tiring school is. Plus with that, they don’t believe in me. They don’t think I can get anywhere in life. All I want to do now is just get far away from life. My sister, the one I thought I could trust, really is just telling my parents everything and talking shit on me behind my back. Oh she is also talking to my ex boyfriend and best friend. How fake. I honestly can’t take it any more. My older brother is always talking trash on me. As I am typing someone just came and turned the lights off on me in the livingroom..they know I am here. As I was saying though, my family is always talking shit on me to each other. They think I don’t hear, but I do. Like before when I weighed 130 lbs. They called me fat. I was a little chunky but I was depressed and so I was eating. I then started becoming bulimic. Now I try not to eat anything but sometimes my parents make me and they don’t know I am not eating so I just eat a little and then go and throw it up. I just started cutting. I like it because it gets my anger out. My family makes me really angry. They also make me cry about 50 times a day. That isn’t a lie. At this point I am just ready to end my life. I have about 2 years before I can move out. That is way too long. I can barely last a day. I don’t know what to do. I just want to end everything.
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I’m really, really sorry you’re going through that. It’s so unfair that you should suffer so much because your family is so inconsiderate. Do you ever confront them about it?
You are going to be fine, seriously. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you sound like you already have a lot of wisdom about life and your situation built up and deep internal plans for your next 70 years.
Stay strong and keep up the good faith you’ve had in yourself and your future.
I heard that there are pregnant women in India who are alone on the streets and people dying of cancer every day.
Get a good plan together and NEVER LOOK BACK, because once you leave, they are probably going to miss BULLYING you. And I think that all of their mistreatments of you are saying a lot more about THEIR lives and how dissatisfied and insecure they are with themselves that they, apparently, have to bully you to make themselves feel better about theirselves. (Maybe they are all really jealous. Just don’t get cocky, but stay confident.)
You don’t just sit all day at school, deep thinking requires a lot of energy. I remember hearing that when a person is in deep thinking, they are expending enough energy to light a 75 WATT light bulb!
I wish you the best and am confident that you are going to be a solid success in life. Take care.
you seem to be a very bright girl. i believe that you will be able to pass this part of your life. you may not be able to get used it and if you do, even better, but you will be able to make it. i guarantee it. i’ll be honest with you, you were able to endure the hardship for i’m assuming probably longer than 2 years right? so those 2 years will be nothing. it will go by in an instant. when you reach adult age, spread your wings. be in control of your own life. work hard for yourself. you don’t need to be surrounded by people who do not see the good in you. surround yourself with those who genuinely care. it will be a long and tough journey but i believe you will be able to find those people. also, do you communicate with your family members who’s hurt you? if not, try communicating with them. they won’t know anything unless you tell them how you feel. and i pray that they will be supportive. if they aren’t the supportive type, i suggest you do not speak to them. instead talk to close friends or teachers who you feel comfortable with and are closer too. i’m sure they will know what to say and do. be honest. it will help you for sure. don’t be afraid to be judged. pick your teachers and friends wisely though. teacher and close friends whom you can trust will never judge you. i used to cut myself as well. i would get so angry that the pain was a vessel to release emotional pain. instead of doing that. go for a run outside or punch a pillow. i discovered that stress balls (those styrofoam thing that you squeeze for anger release) actually do really work. about your eating disorder. if you don’t feel good doing it, then please do not continue to do it. i think the thing that us suiciders forget is to love ourselves first. that’s why we get so entangled in these negative voices. if only we constantly remember that we are the most important person in the world, then perhaps we would treat ourselves better. i hope you will take this with you. remember that you are the most important person in your life so take good care of yourself and your health. i pray for only the best for you. good luck. i support you.
My family definitely wasn’t that bad, but I can kind of empathize. They talked shit about me too and they never seemed to believe in me. I wasn’t good enough. But I used that as my motivation to prove them wrong and get the hell away from them.
I am now a college student majoring in Accounting. Things DO turn around, but you have to be willing to power through it.
From the sounds of it you’re damn smart and damn strong. I have faith that you can make it too and prove them wrong about you. If you ever need to talk just let me know!