Just depressed. I’ve been depressed before for 3 years. I got better. I was good and happy and appreciating things. Then things started going down hill again. I now have 2am thoughts at 2pm. And today I had the strongest feeling of killing myself. I was just about to as well. But then I looked at pictures of my boyfriend and I. That stopped me. Now im afraid that I made a big mistake. I made a mistake by making him my happiness. And of course he could just leave. But he wouldn’t do something like. But anyways, everything is bad again. I have scars, 64 scars. Some on my upper thigh and the rest on my forearm. It feels like no one cares.
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It might help to explain why you’re depressed, normally it results from certain issues in your life, rarely would be something that’s genetic. If it’s the latter, you might need drugs-if it’s the former, then you’d probably need to make changes in your life to be happy again.
I can’t relate to cutting-I’m very much against it, but it’s up to each individual to decide to refrain from self-harm, no one can do it for you. Try to find other ways to cope. Sometimes I have memories that make me edgy, distressed or anxious and I have my own “self-calming” ways of dealing with them.
At least you’re in a relationship-it’s something I wish I had right now-but it’s difficult to find someone that is as into you as you are with them. But that’s something I’m hoping to resolve along with many other issues in my life.
There are many times in a day I wish I was dead-but I only go on because I know I will never get another life. So I’ll put up with a lot of bullshit so I can do the things that make me happy.
you have someone special in your life that loves you and you love them. Thats a beautiful thing yknow? As long as you have connection from your heart life can be worth living. Trust me.
The scars will always remain, but you have eyes that see them as perfect. As long as you have him, you can know you’re not alone.
And for things they may not understand; theres mastercard. And SP.
I made the mistake of making him my happiness once. Then he walked out on me. He came back to me three months later when he found out I tried moving on, not when he found out I tried to kill myself.. I’ve taken him back because I’m a weak person. I know I’ll never be able to be attached to him like I was before. So If he leaves again, it won’t hurt so bad. I’ll be expecting it, honestly. But he would still always be a reason to not kill myself. It’s okay to let others make you happy. I just don’t depend on them anymore. I’ve learned to rely on myself most of the time, but if we all only relied on ourselves, we would eventually become tired of it and would all kill ourselves. So It’s okay to let others make you happy, just don’t base your life around the one person.
With my boyfriend, obviously, not yours haha.
If u need someone to talk with, then just write a comment under this. Then we can exchange contact informations. I really wanna help you <33
hey i wld like to talk , i kinda need it right now haha