You don’t know how much I’ve tried to talk to people about how I feel. My depression is getting worse, no one listens. I wonder what it would be like if I was dead, would I finally be at peace?When I was 14 I was told every thing would be better and I was lied to. I’m 17 and my life is hell. I just need someone to listen to me! School is hell! I feel so alone there.. I get these looks like I’m the ugliest person alive and I feel like shit. I’m cluttered with shit tons of work and I can never have time to cry to myself. At some points I think that I could finally be happy, that I could go to college, but If I can’t handle life right now, I know I can’t handle adult life. I just need someone to listen, anyone. My sat is tomorrow, I don’t think I can make it to tomorrow. Life has been so bitter and no one understands what I have to go through everyday. It’s a struggle to be me, to know you’re being judged no matter what you do. To know you’ll never be as pretty this girl or the other girl. To never be able to express how you feel to others. I just need someone to listen, or I’ll end this.
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4 comments
When you get those looks, look at them right back with a big creepy smile, eyes wide, they’ll get freaked and stop doing it.
I made it past high school into college. high school was a B****, I was getting wore down every day. I didn’t even take the SAT, ACT, nothing. Then this fall I went to a community college, took their placement test, and poof! enrolled. I think it was a lot less stressful than the actual ‘important’ tests. If you do go to college, go to a community one first; the tuition is much cheaper, and you can usually transfer later. No one cares where undergraduate work is done.
College classes are actually easier for me, because instead of actually going to class physically, I’m taking online courses instead. It takes a lot less effort, because I don’t have to be around people all the time, or even leave my bed. You do have to be able to keep track of your work though.
Ok, education advice aside, If people are judging you, you’ve got to find a way to ignore it. Who cares what they think? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway, personally I think we’d all be much more attractive with fur, but the formula isn’t quite right yet…
People will listen to you here, don’t worry. We may not always make perfect sense but we’ll try to understand.
Thank you <3
“We may not always make perfect sense but we’ll try to understand.”
Hah… a subtle and accurate description, I think. Indeed we, the people of the internet, are listening. How much good that does, who knows.
Adult life is scary for sure, but it’s also better as far as freedom is concerned. Obviously the responsibilities can be overbearing, but there’s a good side too, if you can make it there. Also, everyone is being judged for what they do. It’s human nature. You’re not isolated in that, just in a worse position than you’d like to be.
Good luck, mizz, with the SAT and, more importantly, getting through another day.
You’re a beautiful soul, and we understand your pain more than you can imagine. We’re all hear for you, and just remember, Strength always comes through struggle. The more the pain, the stronger the individual.
And from the looks of it, you’re damn stronger than anyone I’ve met.
All that matters in life is what you are inside, no matter what, it will always come out. And when it does, you will do absolutely amazing things girl.
Keep you’re head up.
We’re all here <3.
Oh. and Fuck those guys that talk shit. Go ace that SAT mizz.