First I’m sorry my English is really bad but I feel like I need to tell my story to someone. I can’t share my thoughts with anyone here because they most likely will not care . or if they did they will take my children from me. I’m a 40 year’s old mother and I lost my husband 7 months ago
I was 8 months pregnant when he had a car accident
I’m thinking of ending this suffering for me and my children every day
But to scared to actually do it
I’ve never been happy in my entire life
I lived with an abusive family
I wanted to die since I was 10
It got a little bit better when I married this man
Although he had another wife and married a third when I was pregnant with my second child but at lest he didn’t hit me or looked me inside the house And he treated me really nice .For the first time in my life I felt like a human .But all that is gone now I’m back to my abusive family and hurt less brothers I can’t imagine Raising my girls with them
11 comments
Hey,
I am sorry that life took such evil turns for you.
Maybe you could live with a friend, or some other relatives who arent like your current family.
Also, you could go to one of those women help centres. I dont know where youre from so i have no idea how youll find em.
Is possible for you to request help from their uncle.
I kmo
*i know that yours is a very very patriachal society. But maybe youd find a good soul somewhere.
Please dont loose hope. If not for yourself, do it for your children.
Please dont stop looking. And feel free to talk to us at anytime.
I live in Saudi
And my family very much controls my life
My husband left me some money and I can’t get it
Because everything is complicated here
And I’m sick of the greedy lawyers and of it all
Sitting every day thinking of taking my girls lives and wither I’m strong enough to go through it
I just want to die peacefully in my sleep and take my babies with me
Can you move to some other country?
I know this sounds stupid and extremely drastic, but i guess your situation is really really bad.
Have you tried to relocate to a more open and tolerant country? Cus i have read a little about Saudi and i can understand when you say how bad your situation is.
It’s not stupid
I was planning with my husband to buy a house in Malaysia and move there
I can’t do that now
Woman are not allowed to travel without permission
And I’m legally can’t take my children without their uncle consent
You are in a bad place in a country that isn’t responsive to your needs. There is hope. See if you can get in touch with these people:
girlsnotbrides.org/members/saudi-association-for-the-protection-and-defense-of-womens-rights/
Based in Saudi Arabia, the Association for the Protection and Defense of Women’s Rights is a non-governmental organization that mobilises activism for women’s rights in relation to judicial representation in shari’a courts, child marriage, protection from domestic violence, among others.
If they can’t help you I’m pretty sure they have a directory of resources that will help.
I doubt anyone can help
I called or organisations 15 years ago asking for help
I was locked up not allowed to work or leave the house
And Beaten up for stupid reasons
And there advise was to pray and try to be patient now I’m calling lawyers and thy say as long as my father is alive no one can do anything
And even if he die it would be hard to live in a separate house or to travel or work with no man’s permeation
I’m scared for my girls
I don’t want them to live in these conditions
A girl set her self in fire a year ago
nothing changed her
If you are lucky and have a sporting father or husband your live will be good
If not no one can help you
And her brother is still free
I’m sorry you’ve been suffering. First of all, please put aside any thought of taking you children with you. You might feel they’re suffering too and it would be an escape for all of you, but they should have the opportunity to decide what to do with their lives. They could have much happier lives in the future. I don’t know how you’re thinking of doing it, but it could also cause severe pain or risk their health if they survive (which is usually a risk). The feelings that you’re having are natural but not healthy, and thoughts of taking another person’s life are very unhealthy. You’ve been through a lot and you’re in a bad place, mentally and physically. Look for help for women in your country. If you can escape your abusive relatives, that alone will be some weight lifted off your shoulders. Do it in the knowledge that things will be less painful once you’re away from your situation, and so you can secure a better life for your girls.
Thank you
I just want to spare them what I went through
I love them so much they’re my only family
And it’s my fault they are here
n40m,
I understand.
I wish I had some practical advice to give you. I don’t know what other organisations are out there, but would you be willing to speak to another if you could find one?