I am currently 20 years old and feeling trapped in a life I do not want to lead.
It all starts with myself when I was a couple years younger, just always trying to impress my parents, trying so very hard to make them proud, and just being a nice/happy person. I chose a career field, that I absolutely despise, to go to university for to please my parents. They have constant control over my life. Looking at my grades. Making sure I am doing well 24/7. I do not get along with them. I have dreams of traveling the planet and not be so close minded like everyone in my family. They do not like how different I am from them.
Im so tired of making sure others are happy. I’m so tired of being depressed all the time. Feeling like I’m drowning but I can see everyone around me as I try to keep my mask of happiness on. Honestly, at this point I think ending my life would make everyone happy. My parents wouldn’t have to worry about a burden like me, and I can finally end this life I have started to hate. I want to take sleeping pills and end it peacefully.
3 comments
I feel the same way as you, longwaydown. I try to make everyone else happy and i try to be exactly how they want me to be, I know you probably don’t want to hear about me being like that, but i have a point. I know how you feel so i know that everyday staying alive and being present is the most difficult thing you do. But I believe that you can do it, you can make it through days to come and anything else life throws your way because you are strong and you don’t need to impress anyone anymore, only yourself. Maybe traveling the world is just what you need to do, it will make you happy and it will distance you from your parents watchful eye. Finish out college and then be the person you want to be. Change your life to how you want to live it, you deserve to be happy, nothing but happy! And know that everyone on this site is here for you.
Walk longwaydown. Walk away. Live for yourself. Breath. Sometimes I have to just leave the toxic behind.
try to make them happy for just a couple years you are very young (i know you probably don’t think so) then travel the planet you have many many years ahead of you, you can do it i did and you will be glad you have a colledge education i did not and had to work very very hard for what i have now