my eyes hurt

I’ve been so angry for the past two days and I don’t really know why, I just have this rage inside me that’s extremely hard to control. I’m becoming more violent and my already small amount of patience is dwindling to nothing. All day I’ve felt like punching a wall, or punching someone. My skin feels tingly when I’m angry and I’m not gonna lie, it feels good. I feel like I’m invincible and like no one can touch me. Three nights ago, my girlfriend temporarily disabled her Instagram account and I was really worried and I spiraled down so fast, and ever since that night I’ve been more angry and depressed and intolerant than before. I’ve also had a hard time focusing and putting thoughts together at some points. I’ve also had the sudden urge to cut myself, it’s like I crave the pain even though I’ve only cut a few times before (but that was because my friends were cutting and I thought it was “cool.” I don’t think that way anymore). I’ve been waking up and questioning my existence. I wake up and feel like my life so far hasn’t been real, that I must have imagined it all or that it was all a joke. I wonder if I’m real or not, and what’s the point of everything. “I can’t be real, that’s too whack.” I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said I don’t know what to do anymore. “Maybe if I stay up all night, tomorrow won’t come.” I’m miserable and angry and sick of life at this point. Who even cares? Definitely not me. All of my posts so far sound the same, how fuckin’ original.