I am sorry if you truly know me and you are reading this. If you know me, you might have known this would happen but within the next few days, I am planing to kill myself. Why? I can’t deal with whats going on in my head. My mum says I am a worthless hoe. Most people on first glance will call me ugly. I was also have “friends” that know I self-harm but think its just me trying to get attention. I was also what some people would call raped. No one really knows this but I was raped when I was nine by a bully in my neighborhood. Within the next few days, I am going to end myself. Goodbye world. To the people who were my true friends, the ones that knew stuff and tried to stop me, I am sorry and I hope I did not mess up your life. I was a nobody anyways.
-Avisgone
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Hi avis,
Do you have a doctor or therapist that you can visit?
Why your mom is calling something like that? Do not you have any other place to go?
Please, do not pay attention to people that call you ugly or express disgust for you, focus in the good friends that you mentioned that are always there for you. You are not ugly, no one is.
You mentioned that you was raped with 9 years and you never told anyone. Are your afraid or was you afraid for that? Most probably that happened many years ago, but if that is still affecting you, maybe is time for you to trust someone, and look for help, to overcome the distress and pain that situation could caused you. There are another anonymous forums, maybe you could go there, described what happened to you and find the resources you need to cope or deal with that traumatic event.
I wish I could help you better. Take Care.
No, I do not have a therapist. My mom is not my birth mom. My mom hates me and dislikes everything about me and calls me names and tries her best to hurt me in my head. I am still afraid of what happened when I was nine (now I am 15).
Where is your mom? Is she an step mom? Why her dislike your or hate you so much? You are still a teenager, why you do not go and ask for help at the school, talk to a counselor or someone over there? I wish I could help you avis, but I do not know what I can do for you. I have many problems too.
Avisgone you are not a nobody. The fact that you are here makes you a someone. If you are able to talk to an adult that will hear you do it. At school, maybe a teacher or a counselor they will get you the resources you need. You are so young and there is so much in life that you have to look forward to. It is so hard when we are in this space to see past the moment but your life has just begun and will change so much in just the next 5 or 6 years. Dont give it up without a fight.
@avisgone: honey leave that crappy abusive place as soon as you are able. Please please find someone to talk to about the rape, if you are in school a guidance counselor or the school social worker. I would not advise your mother since she sounds like a real piece of work. I was raised by possibly the worst kind of people, the only way to live any kind of life is to get the hell out if there as soon as you can. Give yourself more time. Trust me you are worth it.
I know someone real close who had a similar issue like you and. It took time but she made it through perhaps a counselor from school is the way to start talk to someone it really helps omg Trust Me I don’t have a parent either I know how that can be. Do anything that makesyou happy but ending your life because of someone is very sad and ive been there I’m still there but I’m fighting
Im sorry you are going threw all of this and i dont want you to die. What do you think is coming next, what is it you are so afraid of?
Please don’t. I know it hurts and I’m hurting now. It hurts you know. I’m scared to,