I saw my friend again for the first time in forever (like 2 months!) which is the longest it’s gone without seeing him. And he says the same old thing, that it’s not all about looks to him but it clearly is, because no one is up to the very high standards he sets for girls. If she couldn’t be a supermodel or a hot stripper or porn star, or is too many additional 1lb increments over the 100 lb limit, then there’s not a chance in hell they could get with him. And that’s how he is whether he will admit it or not.
So anyway, he tries to tell me that everyone who’s met me likes me and thinks I have a good personality. This is what I really can’t wrap my head around as hard as I try. And if it were true, if I was really that cool or interesting, then I’d have a life and have had dates before like everybody else. And no, I’ve actually never been on a real date or “had a life” as they say. I’m more confused because I’ve always been told that I have absolute shit for personality, that it’s just ugly and disgusting, and no one would ever want to be with me. I was told this growing up and well into adulthood. But I really can’t comprehend how I’ve survived 2 years out on my own – literally out on my ass to make it for myself – because I don’t see how anyone could like me let alone how the hell I’ve kept both my part time jobs for a year. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I don’t see how I have these jobs or friends or get along with anyone. I’m really confused. SIGH.
7 comments
Maybe you’re better than you give yourself credit for? I mean, two part-time jobs. Kudos!
Yeah, in start-ups, only because the people knew me from the training program I went through and the 2nd from being a caseworker at another agency that I saw regularly. In the real world I can’t get a job because I don’t have a master’s & the 10+ years experience.
See what you did there? You focused on the negatives. I’m only saying it because it dawned on me today how crazily much I do it. The problem is it narrows down your field of vision. Next time you catch yourself doing it, try writing a list of what you’re grateful for, or something like that.
The world might be against you, but there’s no need to give it a helping hand 🙂
Another way to put it would be: I networked my way to two jobs, EVEN THOUGH I don’t have a master’s and 10+ years of experience.
And if I am better than I give myself credit for, I just can’t figure out how or why. I see my interactions as awkward and forced and I don’t know how that can come off in any good way.
Well, for one thing, you’re performing two jobs, so you’re adding value in one way or another. That is something 🙂
It’s simple the man wants a woman.