This week has been completely terrible for me but then again everyday is kinda bad for me. I’ll always be able to find something to make me more upset than i already am. I’ve been thinking more than i usually do on a daily basis. I’m 16 right now and a sophomore in high school. everyone’s is telling me that i need to make a decision about what Im going to do in the future. What classes I should take to benefit my future, what college i need to go to. what career I am interested in and etc. there’s only one profession I’m interested in and that’s being an artist. the only problem is that i know I’m not good enough to be accepted in any colleges. I know Im not smart enough. What if I make the wrong decision? I also know that either way, I will be extremely unhappy with my adulthood because I truly have nothing to look forward to in my life.
I know how worthless and unwanted I am. I know that know one cares or will care that I’m gone. My body aches from frequent self harm and I just cant take it anymore.
This is my first post and I didn’t have and exact idea of what i wanted to say…this is just what I’ve been thinking… ^-^
5 comments
Hey Metalgore, cool first post. I’m sorry to hear thing seem bad and are getting worse.
I wish I could do art! I enjoy it but cant draw anything that resembles something lol.
I’m sure you’ll get many more insightful replies with time but personally I am always one for following your interests at heart. Whatever path you choose, it’ll be hard work but imo thats what makes it worth while. Also at 16, although everyones thinking about what to do now, for the rest of your life, you actually have loads of time to think about it. If you can work at getting as good grades as you can that will give you a basis to return to/use at a later date. I’m not sure how the US system for higher education works but I dont see why a gap year and/or going to uni in your mid twenties instead would be a bad idea if you arent ready now. Yes life can change things, but similarly if your spend a year producing a portfolio and selling you work via the internet then perhaps other avenues will open up?
I know it seems like you need to know and decide everything now. But you dont 🙂
P.s. besr in mind many people theae days have 3 careers on average (in the uk at least) so just cos you pick a path now it doesnt mean you’ll still be doing that at 50! And thats a good thing cos you can move work as your intersts change, far better than the 1950s wjere you get a job and like it or not thats it for life imo
Thank you so much for your support! You’re my first comment ^-^! And i greatly appreciate your advice!
So much in your post… For one, artist are commonly misunderstood and under appreciated. If arts are your passion, why bother with college? What artistic ability are you blessed with? Drawing? Maybe tattoos or airbrushing? Sculpting? Maybe welding is your ticket? Music? It’s literally never been easier to get a following. So just think how you can use your talents to make ends. You got 2 years where your at. So if nobody there cares, roll out. Go wherever. Bus tickets are cheap as hell. I wish I’d done that. If you sacrifice yourself to forge a life in a place you don’t like, where you’re unwanted doing something you hate it’s kinda pointless.
im more of a traditional drawing person but i can do almost any type of medium cx thank you for your support and advice!!!<3
I just think nowadays art is about having a discourse and knowing how to sell yourself (not really about being good at it). It has a big social component (take this into account). It is a beautiful option and might be an interesting one, but if you like drawing, there are other options too, specially if you like relistic drawings. Don’t think that if you like drawing or painting or digital, your only option is visual or fine arts. Give yourself the oportunity to find out what other kinds of jobs or life styles involve this activities.
(Designer, tattooist (cited above), animator, architect… I really don’t know.)
Hey, take your time, as is written above, you don’t really have to decide it now, try to be open and to imagine what your possibilities will look like.
Adulthood ain’t that bad either. But I am not the right person to talk about it… js