She basically confirmed my worst fears: nobody can help me. If in one of my delusional states, I decide to kill or hurt myself or someone else, nothing will stop me. I sure as fuck won’t stop myself, and nobody else can either.
I’m hopeless! I’m utterly hopeless and should just get on with it already! Ok? But even now that I realize that, I still can’t work up the nerve. WHY CANT I DO IT?? WHAT’S STOPPING ME? GUILT? FEAR? I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO JUST DIE, SO WHY CANT I???
I wish I wasn’t scared of Hell! That’s the fear! I wish I didn’t have anyone to miss me! That’s the guilt!
I just want it all to be over, and I can’t stop crying. My face is burning.
What would you tell someone you love if he/she tells you he/she is feeling this? What would you tell your sister if she told you she was scare like this? How would you talk to her?
Try to imagine that (concentrate and do it for real) and tell those thing to yourself ….
I want to help you dwell better.
It’s not that nobody can help you, it’s just that that one person couldn’t and that the ones you’ve consulted until now weren’t accurate at doing it. But there are hundreds of other options. That’s why there are thousands of philosophical thinkings and religions and theories. Because everyone is so particular that almost nothing works for everyone.
At the end you’ll have to take the advices that work for you and to throw away the ones that don’t, and you’ll find the answer to your question (about what to do next time) by constructing it your own way.
One advice: in moments of crisis remember that the next day or hour you will feel some calm again. I really feel really down must of the time but I also know that’s not all there is. It doesn’t always work, (sometimes feeling better later doesn’ t matter) but the rule is not to make any big decision in times of emotional fatigue
Your therapist not answering you is Not Acceptable and Not Professional.
She shouldn’t have dodged that question. Shame on her.
I would request a different therapist and I’d probably file a complaint against the therapist you just saw.
I understand if you don’t have the energy to confront this, but it is essential that reasonable options be provided to you by these so-called ‘professionals’.
I understand how you feel, but I don’t think she dodged my question on purpose, or at least not with malicious intent. I don’t know— I can’t even remember how the convo went anymore. My brains are all shook up. I just know that she basically said that theoretically, nothing could stop me from killing myself if I wanted to. Which isn’t wrong.
Oh ok – I was just bouncing off of your post. True, nothing can stop someone from killing themselves. But, therapists should be trained to provide resources and tips for finding some sanctuary.
I’m so sorry they didn’t respond!
It’s frustrating when counselors and therapists (and people who should know better) still miss big huge giant hints and clues. And, in your case, they seemed not to understand plain obvious statements that should have been red flags.
I’m sorry people are like this sometimes.
I wish the world was different.
I hope you stay with us anyway, even despite giant frustrating moments/days/weeks/lives like this. I’d miss you, and I suspect I’m not the only one.
That sounds concerning. I’m thinking you should find another therapist.
I’ve tried lots of different ones and some didn’t make much of an impact even after several weeks, while the best one helped me immensely in just a quarter of an hour.
Everyone says I should find another therapist. I know it’s a shit excuse, but I don’t adapt well to change at all. I don’t know. I don’t know.
I know I’m only seventeen, and I find some refuge in that reassurance. But so many of the adults here say that they’ve been this way for decades, starting when they were around my age. I hear them say “I should’ve ended it while I was still young.” And such. I don’t want to make the same mistake they did and be filled with such regret.
Anyway, I appreciate all of your help, muspelhem. You’re a great person. Hugs.
I’m so sorry. Sometimes the therapy seems like such a last resort, and when you’re left with what amounts to a shrug of the shoulders it feels so hopeless or helpless or lost or angry that it’s draining to decide how to feel.
I don’t think anyone wants you to just die. You’ve shown a lot of fight, and it’s shitty that things should be a struggle to just go through a day. And to the other half of what I said about certainty, you’ve come through those days before, too.
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18 comments
:/
“Rage” isn’t so appropriate a word anymore, cause now I’m bawling like a fucking two year old.
Counselors can be useless. Im sorry to hear about what happened.
Thanks.
She basically confirmed my worst fears: nobody can help me. If in one of my delusional states, I decide to kill or hurt myself or someone else, nothing will stop me. I sure as fuck won’t stop myself, and nobody else can either.
I’m hopeless! I’m utterly hopeless and should just get on with it already! Ok? But even now that I realize that, I still can’t work up the nerve. WHY CANT I DO IT?? WHAT’S STOPPING ME? GUILT? FEAR? I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING TO JUST DIE, SO WHY CANT I???
I wish I wasn’t scared of Hell! That’s the fear! I wish I didn’t have anyone to miss me! That’s the guilt!
I just want it all to be over, and I can’t stop crying. My face is burning.
What would you tell someone you love if he/she tells you he/she is feeling this? What would you tell your sister if she told you she was scare like this? How would you talk to her?
Try to imagine that (concentrate and do it for real) and tell those thing to yourself ….
I want to help you dwell better.
*feel better
It’s not that nobody can help you, it’s just that that one person couldn’t and that the ones you’ve consulted until now weren’t accurate at doing it. But there are hundreds of other options. That’s why there are thousands of philosophical thinkings and religions and theories. Because everyone is so particular that almost nothing works for everyone.
At the end you’ll have to take the advices that work for you and to throw away the ones that don’t, and you’ll find the answer to your question (about what to do next time) by constructing it your own way.
One advice: in moments of crisis remember that the next day or hour you will feel some calm again. I really feel really down must of the time but I also know that’s not all there is. It doesn’t always work, (sometimes feeling better later doesn’ t matter) but the rule is not to make any big decision in times of emotional fatigue
You’re right. You’re right. I need to put the method down and just calm down. I’ll get through this if I can just calm down.
Your therapist not answering you is Not Acceptable and Not Professional.
She shouldn’t have dodged that question. Shame on her.
I would request a different therapist and I’d probably file a complaint against the therapist you just saw.
I understand if you don’t have the energy to confront this, but it is essential that reasonable options be provided to you by these so-called ‘professionals’.
I understand how you feel, but I don’t think she dodged my question on purpose, or at least not with malicious intent. I don’t know— I can’t even remember how the convo went anymore. My brains are all shook up. I just know that she basically said that theoretically, nothing could stop me from killing myself if I wanted to. Which isn’t wrong.
Oh ok – I was just bouncing off of your post. True, nothing can stop someone from killing themselves. But, therapists should be trained to provide resources and tips for finding some sanctuary.
I’m so sorry they didn’t respond!
It’s frustrating when counselors and therapists (and people who should know better) still miss big huge giant hints and clues. And, in your case, they seemed not to understand plain obvious statements that should have been red flags.
I’m sorry people are like this sometimes.
I wish the world was different.
I hope you stay with us anyway, even despite giant frustrating moments/days/weeks/lives like this. I’d miss you, and I suspect I’m not the only one.
I know people will miss me. That is one of the two reasons that I’m not dead yet.
Thank you for your words.
That sounds concerning. I’m thinking you should find another therapist.
I’ve tried lots of different ones and some didn’t make much of an impact even after several weeks, while the best one helped me immensely in just a quarter of an hour.
Don’t despair. You’re only seventeen.
Hugs
Everyone says I should find another therapist. I know it’s a shit excuse, but I don’t adapt well to change at all. I don’t know. I don’t know.
I know I’m only seventeen, and I find some refuge in that reassurance. But so many of the adults here say that they’ve been this way for decades, starting when they were around my age. I hear them say “I should’ve ended it while I was still young.” And such. I don’t want to make the same mistake they did and be filled with such regret.
Anyway, I appreciate all of your help, muspelhem. You’re a great person. Hugs.
I’m so sorry. Sometimes the therapy seems like such a last resort, and when you’re left with what amounts to a shrug of the shoulders it feels so hopeless or helpless or lost or angry that it’s draining to decide how to feel.
I don’t think anyone wants you to just die. You’ve shown a lot of fight, and it’s shitty that things should be a struggle to just go through a day. And to the other half of what I said about certainty, you’ve come through those days before, too.
Sorry your plans didn’t work out like you needed them to. What is your revised plan, now that you have put away your m@thod?
FWIW I’d miss your keen eye for excellent advice and kind hearted replies to some of our more vulnerable members cries for help.