I killed a spider today, which makes me arachni-cidal.
If I don’t hurry up and get an oil change for my car pretty soon, I will also be automoti-cidal.
Ever have the vague feeling that someone has been fooling you and lying to you about something and manipulating you all this time, and you’re only now starting to realize the magnitude of it all? Yeah. Me too.
My double vision is getting worse, and when I drove home from symphony rehearsal Tuesday night, I could see two of every sign, and two white lines at the side of the road. At my last medical appointment, I explained this, and kind of freaked the doctor out when I calmly announced that there were two separate tops to her head. My MRI’s (both of them) are Thursday at 11:45. I hope they find out what’s going on in there. If the tumor has spontaneously dissolved, then we’re back to square one about the double vision and the increase in headaches and the memory lapses.
So if killing spiders makes me arachni-cidal, and neglecting my vehicle makes me potentially automoti-cidal… when I put clothes on, am I being nudi-cidal?
For some reason I just pictured a naked person riding a unicycle.
Be sure to sanitize the seat afterward.
I just Googled “Naked person on unicycle” and was surprised at how many things came up.
Er, I mean… how many STORIES came up.
- Police Arrest Naked Man Riding Unicycle
- Naked Unicyclist Arrested On Texas Bridge
- Naked Man On Unicycle Cited In Kemah
- (There’s more… just do the search.)
Because apparently you have to be naked AND on a unicycle to get attention these days.
If that’s not enough, you can always be naked AND on an extra tall unicycle AND juggling knives: