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Rambling on about naked people and unicycles

by Cordless

I killed a spider today, which makes me arachni-cidal.

If I don’t hurry up and get an oil change for my car pretty soon, I will also be automoti-cidal.

Ever have the vague feeling that someone has been fooling you and lying to you about something and manipulating you all this time, and you’re only now starting to realize the magnitude of it all?  Yeah.  Me too.

My double vision is getting worse, and when I drove home from symphony rehearsal Tuesday night, I could see two of every sign, and two white lines at the side of the road.  At my last medical appointment, I explained this, and kind of freaked the doctor out when I calmly announced that there were two separate tops to her head.  My MRI’s (both of them) are Thursday at 11:45.  I hope they find out what’s going on in there.  If the tumor has spontaneously dissolved, then we’re back to square one about the double vision and the increase in headaches and the memory lapses.

So if killing spiders makes me arachni-cidal, and neglecting my vehicle makes me potentially automoti-cidal… when I put clothes on, am I being nudi-cidal?

For some reason I just pictured a naked person riding a unicycle.

Be sure to sanitize the seat afterward.

I just Googled “Naked person on unicycle” and was surprised at how many things came up.

Er, I mean… how many STORIES came up.

  1. Police Arrest Naked Man Riding Unicycle
  2. Naked Unicyclist Arrested On Texas Bridge
  3. Naked Man On Unicycle Cited In Kemah
  4. (There’s more… just do the search.)

Because apparently you have to be naked AND on a unicycle to get attention these days.

If that’s not enough, you can always be naked AND on an extra tall unicycle AND juggling knives:


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Cordless 3/30/2016 - 7:03 pm

UPDATE: Got the oil change this afternoon, so I am no longer automoti-cidal.

Cordless 3/30/2016 - 7:04 pm

I am, however, currently wearing clothes, so I guess the nudi-cidal charge still stands.

rocketman 3/30/2016 - 7:59 pm

Cordless, i’m a very sick individual!!!! i love being naked!! I WAS BORN FREE!! LA LA LA LA LA DAH!

BUTT! I think that’s a good thing! i’m still ticking! haven’t lost that!! errroowwww!!!!

really thank the stairs above! i still enjoy you know! that crazy little thing called love!!

Cordless 3/30/2016 - 8:02 pm

The way you spelled it made it sound as if your butt is the thing that’s ticking.

Which I’m sure is sometimes true.

rocketman 3/30/2016 - 8:12 pm

Cordless, you know i did that on purpose! BUTT BUT HA HA! ABOUT MY BUTT! HUM? NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN? NOTHING GOES IN THERE!! 🙂

Cordless 3/31/2016 - 2:56 am

@rocketman: So you’re saying your butt is the opposite of a roach motel…

(commercial from the 1980’s: “Roaches check in… but they don’t check out.”)


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