I lost my only child to “sudden unexpected infant death” at 9 months old. I fed her a bottle, laid with her till she fell asleep, laid her in her crib and then found her an hour later blue, cold and unresponsive. My husband did CPR until EMS arrived. They worked on her for over an hour and never could bring her back. My life ended that day. I’m simply an empty shell wandering around trying to be what doctors percieve as “normal/healthy”, considering. The only reason I’m still here is because I can’t bring myself to inflict this pain on my own mother. I have full access to a firearm, medications, etc. I just can’t be responsible for my mom feeling this pain. I guess this life has taught me there are worse things than death. Maybe I’m already dead and this is my eternal afterlife?
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Im so so sorry ma”am
I’m so sorry. I can’t fathom that kind of pain. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened, because you couldn’t have stopped it.
@cmm73114
I am truly sorry for your loss. I won’t say I know how you feel, because I have not been in your situation. But I have lost a brother. And I also witnessed one of my best friends’ losing their daughter in you same circumstances. It is devastating, no doubt about it.
However, cmm, you have to think that things happen for a reason. Imagine if they had been able to revive her and she had sustained permanent brain damage. Would you have wanted to put your little angel through that for the rest of her life?
She came into your life to show you what a wonderful gift the miracle of life is, and although she was only with you briefly, she will be with you for the rest of your life.
My friends eventually had another baby. Guess what? Yes, another girl. And they named her Faith, which was their first child’s middle name.
Honor your baby by living. Living and giving birth. I’m sure she would like a little baby brother or sister 😉
I couldn’t read the bulk of this because of the topic but I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. Post partum harmones with the loss of a child are a lethal combination but a lot of it is chemical due tot he PP harmones.