Abusive Relationship

I just got out of an abusive relationship. I will not say in what profession, because I don’t want to give out too much information, but it was in a profession of pressure, where you’re expected to be hazed and belittled. This relationship was not a boyfriend or a husband, it was mentor-to-apprentice. Most of the time, when you hear of abusive relationships, it is a significant other, and I just want to say that, sometimes, it’s a boss or a friend.
This man had incredible talents, and I had the opportunity to become highly skilled in my craft from learning under this man. He was the best I had ever seen, and didn’t want to have anything more than be a teacher. But teachers do not tell their students they’re worthless. They don’t tell them they are stupid or useless, and he even attacked my appearance. He also wanted to throw in my face that he hesitated to have me due to my previous workplace, and the bad rep they got. I still worked hard, and tried to prove my worthiness, but it was all for naught.
With abuse, you don’t realise what is happening until it’s too late. You don’t know that you’re being hurt mentally until you can’t even do simple tasks around your abuser without fear of being screamed at. Every day, it was like walking on eggshells. I couldn’t sweep the floor without being afraid he’ll tell me I can’t so anything right.
Your brain shows you pain to tell you something is wrong, but for 4 months I toughed it out. In just those 4 months, my confidence was damaged to the point that I couldn’t do my craft. It was to the point where I questioned everything. My brain told me “you’re hurting, you need to leave” and I don’t know if it was my stubbornness to prove him wrong or I felt I wasn’t good without him. I regret not walking out of that place the first time we met, but he was just so talented in the craft that people handed down for generations. I couldn’t miss on this opportunity. I figured he wouldn’t get worse.
It did though. It got so bad, I would come home and question my life. I am not a weak girl, and I have been through abuse before; my paranoid schizophrenic drunk of a step father beat my mom for years until we decided enough was enough and got him out. Emotional abuse is so hard to pinpoint though because, what if I’m just a *****? What if I’m overreacting? That’s gaslighting. And I know that it was emotional abuse, because one of my co-workers, I could already see him start on her before I packed my shit and left. I think he could see it in my eyes that I was over him breaking my spirit. I was done being treated like a dog. I had reached my breaking point when he began to put down my appearance and try to make me seem “too scrawny”, and how I would look better if I didn’t have dreads or if I had an ass. I didn’t really care about that, I’ve learned to let that roll off my shoulders, but still, the fact of the matter is that he tried to bring me down even further.
Well, before I drink this Tequila and make a toast to me leaving an abusive relationship, I will say this:
If you find yourself in the same situation, abuse is abuse, no matter spouse or boss. You need to leave. It’s hard, I cried when I left because I thought that I wasn’t doing the right thing, but when I walked into my new workplace, I found my family, and they welcomed me with open arms and I went right to work. When you leave, you will cry and you will feel bad about it, you will feel like you’re hurting them, but they don’t feel a thing. They might ask for you back, but you need to not do it. Being there 4 months damaged me enough, I couldn’t imagine going another month, my dears. You are doing the right thing. I promise.