I married my best friend and the man of my dreams on January 29th. We live in different countries, and got married while he was visiting me. I haven’t seen him in four months – I’m supposed to see him in 3 weeks, but today he became very angry at me and told me not to talk to him, called me a whore, and signed off. This was because of him viewing things I said years ago, when I was a teenager, in a chat room. He insisted that I am a liar, but I have never lied to him. I am scared that he is leaving me… I can’t live without him. After he logged off, I was crying so hard. I cut myself and burned myself.. something I haven’t done in years. If he leaves me I am going to kill myself.. he’s all I have and I can’t live without him. I’m so in love with him
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That’s ridiculous. Who HASN’T done crazy things as a teenager? And he’s complaining about a chatroom? ***** please. (You’re not the *****; he is.)
Maybe he’s feeling guilty about something he did, or thought of doing, and so he’s taking it out on you with any possible excuse.
If there’s something he wants to tell you, he’ll come forward with the truth eventually… if he doesn’t, then he’s a coward who isn’t worth your time. (I know it hurts to think that way when you’re fond of someone… but not everyone deserves your affection.)
Another reason could be that he was lied to by other exes and it didn’t turn out well for him, and so he’s becoming paranoid that you’re like the others. If this is the case, leave him alone and he’ll think it over.
Please don’t injure yourself because of him. Do nothing right now except try to be patient, and treat yourself to nice things.
Though I’m not sure how you can manage being married to someone and not be in the same room together for months? No judgment, I just think someone is going to have to move or it’s unlikely to work out.
Desperation is not a good foundation for marriage, but neither is unplanned pregnancy and millions of people seem to survive that, so all hope is not lost. True love engenders respect, so demand it. You may feel you are the lowliest worm at the bottom of a barrel of rotten apples, but the reality is you are a human being. Human beings deserve to be treated humanely.
I’d wait a while before getting a joint checking account, too.
well, I’m supposed to visit him for almost 3 months very soon.. and then move permanently to him in winter, once we qualify for a visa. I am terrified that he is going to leave me now, though. he hasn’t had any serious girlfriends before and I don’t think he would cheat on me or anything like that. he’s 5 hours ahead of me, and it’s 9:30am there now but he logged off ten hours ago and I assume he was sleeping… I have messaged him so many times begging him to reply. I begged him not to go.. I have been crying off an on for 10 hours. He’s never been so mean to me before… one of the things he was upset about was that I said in the chatroom that I showed someone my breasts on skype. I know I never did that before, so I found the chat log and I said I showed my friend – I messaged my friend and asked if that ever happened and he said no, so I’ve sent my husband a screenshot of him saying that. I hope he will believe me now. I have never felt so hurt, and low. I honestly cannot deal with this – I feel heartbroken already. If he leaves me I cannot endure the humiliation and shame. I have tried to kill myself before, and honestly, right now I wish I would have been successful. I love him so much and all I want is for him to treat me how he used to, and love me as much as I love him.
wow! it’s rough on here today! i hope things work out for you.
Let’s not assume the worst from him. After 4 months of not seeing each other, he’s probably feeling insecure and from what you said, has never had a serious relationship before. His insecurities could be aggravated from learning of your past relationships and taking it out on you. Which of course, is totally not OK. Keep trying to talk it out.
But don’t let him walk all over you. I’ve had experience with a manipulative guy who made me feel guilty for things from the past and changed the way he treated me. Lmao, the contrast between the two is like day and night.