Miss you

I’m with you my friend, I woke up one day and was 41. Time flows faster these days, not a slow easy stream like it was in your twenties. I feel like a shell or a husk of the younger person I was, ‘nothing is very much fun anymore’ and those honorable beliefs held by the young have all but dissipated. Friends are now acquaintances – even the best of friends and the importance of friendship has taken a back seat (at the back of the bus) behind work and achieving, something which only I will not adhere to but I am the only one who says ‘its only work’ or ‘its only money’ and not because I failed as making money has always come easy to me, but because I never let it define me, I would rather be defined by my infallible friendship.
Just another one of those things that goes away with your youth, I guess. In the past 5 years I think I feel closer to characters in tv shows more than lifelong friends and I KNOW this is a sad and potentially dangerous situation. I feel like its gone too long, this life, and though I know its like eating the muffin top and throwing away the muffin bottom, I just don’t think that I have it in me to go on growing old and have no need or reason or desire to do so.