so I kind of ruined my family a bit and I can’t seem to stop… I don’t want to hurt anyone but I told my mom that I wanted her to apologize sincerely for not being there to support me whenever I went through disciplinary trouble, and that I can’t move on until she does. Long story. Anyway, since the incident happened yesterday it feels like time doesn’t exist. There’s no future, barely any past, but everything is the present. I cut myself 20 times yesterday and I’ve been steadily taking painkillers since 3. I don’t even take pills. I don’t think I’m going to end up going “too far” but I’ve already taken more pills than I kept track of. I think it’s around 10 or so of hydrocodon or something. I just really need someone to talk to.
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Hey keep track of your pills, hun. I dont have great sociais skills, but if you need someone to talk to just hit me up 🙂 You seem like a Nice person, don’t lose hope
Hey, sorry I kinda just went under for a bit. I’m fine, though. To be honest I feel a little weak but I’m pretty sure that’s because I’ve barely eaten anything the last 2 days. Thanks for commenting. Yesterday was rough.
I also suffer from severe depression that started with my Dad ( I don’t have many posts but they are there and you can read them). Depression does that, leaves you stick in the past, see no future, and the present is seen through shit goggles. My dad has no clue what he’s done to me, and I just don’t bother asking for apologies…I wrote him a letter that I put away and I will not give it to him…but it felt good just getting it out. Make a plan for your future and set goals. I was in the hospital because I was going to kill myself. Everything is the same as when I got out…the only thing different is I realized no one can change for you…everyday is still a battle