Sooo a lot happened since I last posted first off I’m divorced……so yup.
But before that my family found out that I was suicidal and got very mad can’t blame them tho know if must hurt them. But in between that time I was aguring with them them I not staying home and to leave me alone .
Then I opened up to my husband tell him all the pain I feel and sadness. Then he told me he been turning down opportunities to come back home for the past three months . so for some reason I told him that I been cutting myself and were to find my razor blade. After that we talked normally and I was still going back to Tahoe ,also earlier that day my ex mother in law broke her leg .
So the next day I told my ex husband I’m need to stay few days to stay home to clear my mind…he went off said he knew this was gonna happen and if I never showed my love for him and if I don’t come back that day he’s done so we argued…. Few hours later my family gets a call tell me I have five days to comply with my in laws terms or my marriage is finished. This was on a Thursday on Saturday My family was driving me nuts and I said you know what this is but I’m going so what if I’m suicidal it will be the same no matter what and even if I get remarried. So I was packing and booking my ticket when I went up stairs and and my cousin told me your in laws are trying to settle you tonight ( which means divored .) And in my culture girls are basically bought for a certain price when married. If the couple does not the work out money is given to the groom’s family. They don’t want any money back which is huge instult …but there’s a catch they want to keep the jewelry my family has given me over the years .
Later that night my family found out that I was cutting as well .
Two days later I find out my ex husband was cheating on me since we got each other back so for six month .
So what I learned is I was letting myself get abused a person’s family and him because I loved him to find out that person dose not care for you the same way. And the same thing is probably waiting for me I’m still not sure if I’m gonna remarried.
I have not been suicidal since I been home tho and have not cut so I am better.
But insanely heart broken and I also been good but today was not a good day but I got by .
I’m living with my grandfather btw this is nice he old….. now doing old person talking .
5 comments
Wow… so your now ex-husband was cheating on you, all while you were forced to deal with his awful family? Holy f**king hell. People really are utter trash sometimes.
On the bright side, at least now you’re away from those horrible people. Yeah, definitely don’t remarry into another arranged marriage. You need to leave your own family soon and get out into the world, where *hopefully* someday you will meet a nice person who will deseve your love, and care for you in return, and won’t cheat. Hopefully. (Do people like that exist, or is that almost as rare as finding a unicorn? I dunno.)
Please don’t cut anymore. Don’t tell your family about your dark thoughts either, just come here and write instead. Your family won’t understand, and next thing you know they’ll be calling a hospital or shipping you off somewhere. You don’t want that.
Tbh I didn’t tell them they kind of read my Journal and found out. Also my ex went around blabing about my cutting So what you gonna do ….the only thing I want to do is binge watch game thones …or talk to another male in the phone so I don’t feel like giant piece of shit.
It really sucks that this happened to you. Stories like this make me remember one reason why I wanted to kill myself… human beings are so horrible towards other human beings, and if you don’t want to be lonely, you have to be around other people who will probably treat you like garbage (and bring out the worst side of you, as well).
God. I really dislike most of humanity.
Welp that kind of sucks…. but I can’t tell if the divorce thing is good or bad, as I could see it being upsetting, but the entire marriage seems like it was pre bad :/ But I do assume anyway it is still sort of stressful…. I hope things start going better for you…. also that is rude of your family to read your journal, and your ex-person to be telling people things like that…. So very rude. -_- also the entire marriage thing seems horrible, I’m sorry but the idea of basically selling somebody seems really horrible…. I hope you start doing more well 🙁 *hugs*
Wow. I’m glad you are safe.