Life summed

My life in a nutshell currently. I live with my partners family they are muslim I converted to islam to stay here because I had a baby his family had more room at their house and support as his mum stays home so it seemed like the ideal place to be right. The thing that gets me in the dumps is that I have caused more trouble here then I expected ever since day 1 his family had expectations of me and had their mond set that i was like every other white girl, they are very judgemental towards white people. They always made home feel so unwelcoming. I had to fight my family to be here which is a hige bomb dropped they caused a bit of trouble at his house my partners sister is so sour about it blaming my mums actions on me. The family is very rude to me no one ever tells me what is up. Im always feeling so lost and awkward I talked to my partner about it we are looking for a place to stay because they dont want us here but so far thats not happening i’ve been looking at house when I go to the viewings I come back and it feels lole everyones mad at me. Heres the dlow about going out we are not allowed to go put at night bevause they get paranoid and if I go out during the day I come back and everyones so rude. I have no where to go because at my parents house I get so depressed, tell you in the story about my house. My partner he goes out alot at night just to have sessions with his mates I get so devastated because I wish I was allowed to be free and fly my wings before I moved here when me and him were together it was wonderful and honestly here when we are good we move mountains but now i’m Muslim I feel like I can not do anything at all but he can do whatever he wants its unfair, I talked to him about it he gets angry and says go do whatever you want in this salty way. Being here I can’t stand it without him everyone hates me the only people to ever hate me. They also have this disgusting afghan community inwhich is so judgemental they make me so mad. Every day feels like im walking on prickles