I’m currently on probation for a job I just began a month ago. It’s really my dream job or at least the best job I ever had.
I know I will do the job right, even if I’m a little slow to learn knew things. But I’m afraid people will notice how awkward I can be when I’m in a group. Some colleagues have begun to ignore me, like people always do, like if it was written on my face that I was socially inept.
I want to try hard to improve myself and give the best I can, because I know I will never find an other job like this if I fail, but at the same time the dark side in me want to fail, because even if I know getting this job for good would be the best possible outcome in my life, there still some part of me that thinks it is not worth it, that nonexistence is better than existence.
What to do when you think that even the best scenario you could imagine for your life is not worth it?
2 comments
I feel like that albeit not in the same way per say
If people ignore you, it just means you’re not on the same frequency as they are. It’s not a big deal. If you can find one or two colleagues you get along with, that would be a win. You don’t have to be BFF’s, it just might help if someone has your back.
If not, at least be nice to the manager.
Don’t sabotage this opportunity. Focus on what’s important day-to-day rather than any self-defeating thoughts, and you’ll likely do fine. Best wishes.