What if the thing I really want to kill is the illusion that there is a self to kill in the first place, but I’m an American damnit, and Americans don’t do anything unless there’s a way to avoid all the hard work of attaining zen through meditation and staring at walls for decades?
Yeah, there is a part of me that wants to kill the part of me that wants to kill himself.
But > there is another part of me that doesnt want to live a really long life and get so old that I lose my mind and am not able to take care of myself.
I wish that life had a cutoff date.
I wish that in life you could live to like 50 years old and then you automatically die at 50.
I think that would solve a lot of problems in the world. Because lets face it. After 50 > its all down hill > as far as health is concerned. I have trouble seeing life getting really good past the age of 50 and I mean no disrespect toward people here who are older then that.
I love people who are older then that. But for me. I just dont really want to live past that age.
I would rather get all my bucket list items out of the way before that > then die peacfully at 50. Rather then get super old and slowly fall apart mentally and health wise.
that is just how I see it at the moment.
If life didnt go on so long as it currently does I wouldnt have a reason to want to end my life.
2 comments
What if the thing I really want to kill is the illusion that there is a self to kill in the first place, but I’m an American damnit, and Americans don’t do anything unless there’s a way to avoid all the hard work of attaining zen through meditation and staring at walls for decades?
Yeah, there is a part of me that wants to kill the part of me that wants to kill himself.
But > there is another part of me that doesnt want to live a really long life and get so old that I lose my mind and am not able to take care of myself.
I wish that life had a cutoff date.
I wish that in life you could live to like 50 years old and then you automatically die at 50.
I think that would solve a lot of problems in the world. Because lets face it. After 50 > its all down hill > as far as health is concerned. I have trouble seeing life getting really good past the age of 50 and I mean no disrespect toward people here who are older then that.
I love people who are older then that. But for me. I just dont really want to live past that age.
I would rather get all my bucket list items out of the way before that > then die peacfully at 50. Rather then get super old and slowly fall apart mentally and health wise.
that is just how I see it at the moment.
If life didnt go on so long as it currently does I wouldnt have a reason to want to end my life.