So I kind of like this one, not sure why…. This is one that I wrote today, had to write a few because I didn’t do any writing yesterday and that made me feel bad…. I normally don’t do this on weekends, but I skipped a few days during the week so I have to catch up, I decided that this one can get a title because it feels like it wants that as a title…. Again as always this is mostly just freely written by me in a sitting or two (this one was two (30 minute break)) so it is pre rough and probably could be better with revision, but I hate revision that’s not any amount of fun…. and now I’m rambling, I hope somebody finds this enjoyable in some way.
*start*
I always fail, constantly
I’m filled with this animosity
That makes me want to cease to be
Look at me and please just see
That I’m broken beyond all belief
I cut myself to find relief
I want to die, I have no friends
My life’s out of focus I need a lens
To allow me to see again
Let me know what I can attain
‘Cause right now all I know is pain
To keep on running I have to strain
Is it worth it, what’s there to gain?
Another several years to feign
Happiness and normality
While wondering about the lethality
Of the drugs in this bottle
Given to me ‘cause I just wallow
In my pain and misery
I might snap like some celery
One day, and I’ll start murdering
Everybody who is burdening
Me with their insults and their hatred
That leaves me crying and isolated
That thought leaves me so worried
That I may lose control, let things turn blurry
And harm people in ways so horrid
Make them feel my pain in a torrent
Of my anger and emotions
Truly I am just atrocious
*end*
-_- I kind of hate it though too…. :/ But hey I haven’t posted a poem in awhile….
23 comments
That is very deep what is the source of your pain? My pain was being given up as a baby hope you find the light shining in
I really am uncertain of that, a lot of it is caused by other people though…. Probably because of how I was treated by others in my early life. I didn’t exactly see anybody else my age until pre-school and then I was unable to communicate with them as I couldn’t speak due to a speech impediment, which was still fairly noticeable in kinder garden and early elementary school…. I was able to be understood by that point though at least, but it still didn’t stop the other students from mocking it. And that continued on to middle school, just constant harassment. Got better in high school as there were only about 60 students in my grade there. I was at least able to avoid physical abuse though, probably mostly due to an incident where I ended up beating on somebody for a little bit…. -_- after that I was then labeled as a crazy psychopath who was probably going to shoot up the school one day…. Which to be fair I probably would have done such if I had the opportunity to do so.
true story: 7th grade. This girl, who was in imfamous bully, targeted me for weeks. I was this skinny 85 pound bag of awkward bones who’s mentally unstable alcoholic parents were going through a divorce and no friends to talk to. One afternoon she was behind me in the hall taunting me as usual as her friends snickered. I had no sleep as the night before my violent drunk ass father has stormed out of the house after an ugly fight with my drunk ass mother. I was at the end and just wanted to die. So I turned around and just went for it. Jumped on her and just started pounding on her, kicking her, punching her, biting her, ripping her hair out. I was like a wild animal and I just didnt’ care any longer. I figured if she killed me, fine, at least I didn’t have to go home to my passed out depressed mother, drug abusing brother an violently drunk out of work father. I had no where to hide, no place for any kind of peace and just thought this is it. If i’m going to die, I’m going out fighting.
Well the vice prinicipal pulled me off of her, she was a mess and looked terrified, I was full of snot and tears and shaking. I got a day of in school detention and she never came near me ever again. She was still the school bully but I guess I was just too damn crazy for her to comprehend. In fact a lot of folks steered clear of me after that which made me even lonelier. Soon after I made friends with this crazy Jewish girl who dragged me to synagogue every Saturday. I almost converted to the Jewish religion. I should have. I adored her so much.
that’s very simmillar to what happened with me (the active parts, not the leading in parts) Although I didn’t get caught by school officials, I just simply ended up dragging the person under a table (we were eating lunch) and beating on him a bit, I even did bite his face a few times…. I eventually stopped and started hitting myself as he just wasn’t being hurt enough and it was annoying…. But yeah after that I was the crazy one -_-
Your not crazy you were bullied and walked on they aren’t worth it it took me years to say I don’t care and I put those people that hurt me out of my life I closed my door I was sick of it it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did I’m so sorry that happened to you I struggled in school had a low iq I think your a cool person
Meh they haven’t been in my life for a long time…. But I do have problems letting go of things…. -_-
Just out of curiosity, did you mean it to sound like a nursery rhyme? I like it despite the roughness. Unlike my college poetry professor, I think end rhyme poems can add great juxtaposition.
that wasn’t really that intended…. but I can see that it kind of does in a way ^_^
Your not alone I’m still hurt and held on for so long when they weren’t in my life they had power over me finally I was like I’m done right now I am freaking out wanting to know if a guy likes me I’m afraid to see him again it took me forever to let go of the other guy who hurt me and just didn’t care and he was my friend if I had know how good I would feel letting go I wish I had done it sooner I’ve been in pain I’m a good person and so are you
Yeah my counselor always is telling me to let go of things too -_-
Easier said than done takes time it’s hard to let go it’s not that simple
I care about you
awwww thanks ^_^
Your welcome 🙂
its actually shitty and you have used almost all your thoughts
i feel sorry for what you’re going through seeing your writing all i can say is you can write a lot better than this
just try to arrange your thoughts properly and try to be calm while writing
well it is titled to be shitty 😛
Yeah I have a lot of problems arranging my thoughts, I’m not even fully aware of my thoughts most of the time. -_-
I’m sorry
That poem would make an awesome rap song. It would need a really deep base line and the voice would have to be really deep as well. Maybe some guitar bass in the background. Then about midway a quiet violin would come in, barely audible int he back ground and the man’s voice would get quieter as the violin and a little cello came in louder. The end of the song would fade away with a piano starting a new melody about 8 measures before the end, leaving the listener wanting for the new song you had just introduced but not resolved for the listener.
Thank you for sharing.
I really like the part “My lifes out of focus, I need a lens” and a few of the lines after that. Make sure you keep your poetry. I used to write poetry myself when I was younger but I threw almost all of it out. Now I can’t judge whether any of it was decent or not. I can see that you have skills/talent so keep going with it!!! 🙂
That is one of my least favourite parts, although my absolutely least favourite is the celery thing…. It is really stupid -_-
very nice! the words just flow!! maybe you should write hallmark cards!! 🙂 hey you know me i have to be the one that makes you say that fxxxin Rocketman!!!!! 🙂 try to have a nice day!! i’m having relatives over and cooking, and i’m going to put on a happy face, and try to fool them. if i wait till see are good i’ll never see them!
thing’s?? i haven’t even had a drink yet!! 🙂
Thanks mr. rocketman ^_^ I should totally write hallmark cards…. Maybe I could help them introduce a line for when family members commit suicide? I don’t know.