Hello. My brother took his own life when he was 28 in 1993. 23 years the grief has become a part of me as much as my arm or leg. I do not judge him, I will always love him. I have mental health problems myself, I also worked for Mind for many years. I truly believe he was undiagnosed with bi-polar. I was not diagnosed with bi-polar type 2 until 2006. I also have obsessive thought patterns, these are torture considering that over and over my brain tells me to kill myself. I take meds. I do not stop taking the meds. I am not on a high dose and can continue without torture, panic attacks and mood swings. I know how it is to feel brain pain, to have such a negative outlook that there is no reason to live, but equally, there is no reason to die either. There is only life, people who love me, like me, hate me even. But no matter, I cannot, will not be the massive rock that lands in the pond and sends ripples throughout other peoples lives for the rest of their lives. I take responsibility for me……
Please see a doctor, ask for help. Life is precious. Choose life.
11 comments
Sorry but I have to disagree. Life is not always precious. Other people, except children, are responsible for their own life and should not make suicidal persons feel bad for taking action.
I, too, have to disagree. You are quite lucky that you are amongst those 56 % of people who respond to antidepressants. I tried various meds, doesn’t work for me. Of course, you mean well – but I hate that constant “hang in there, so that nobody else has to suffer and think about their own lives”. No, if you chose to end your life, DON’T torture yourself just for the sake of others. It’s YOUR life! Sure, it’s hard on those left behind, but shouldn’t they realise, that they didn’t care enough and that they are mortal, too? Good luck to you, but – as Suki251 said – don’t make suicidal persons feel bad for taking their own course of action.
I fully sympathise with those who want to take their life, I do understand the mind set. realistic things always make people feel bad. The reality of suicide is not some idealism or belief, it is a reality. reality sucks for sure, but why make someone else’s reality a nightmare for the rest of their lives? is that fair?
Those who want to take their life should consider other people feelings before taking an impulsive action. But if after taking medication and tried others varied solutions, someone still feel suicidal, that person have every rights to end his life. Nobody should endure torture for years just to please friends or family. Would you sit in a dark cell for years without knowing if you are going to escape one day, just to please people around you?
I agree Mattr. When I was a thinking of suicide as a teenager I didn’t care about others and how my death might effect them. Now I’m thirty seven and thoughts of suicide once again weigh heavy on me. Only this time I am thinking of all the people in my life and I don’t want to be an anchor that stops them from living their lives.
With all that being said I now see life and mental illness in a new light. Asking for help and going to a Doctor is very helpful.
Answering your last question, what is fair?
Oops, posted that too soon.
Fairness, it depends on what perspective you look at suicide. The answer can only be made by the person acting on suicide.
I strongly feel if someone is suffering and thinking of suicide, it is fair to them and people in their lives to get help and try to get better.
You may be right – from your point of view. But, what if, like me, you went to several doctors and therapists, tried medication and really did your best to get help, and nothing of it worked out? It’s not my purpose to be anybodies slave, they don’t even care about how I feel or support me in finding help. Everybody looked at me as if I was a strange animal, when I tried to talk to them about my frustration with my doctor and therapist. They don’t want to be bothered, they look the other way and ignore things, yet they take for granted that I’m always there to help them out and listen to their problems. Nobody ever listens to me.
Tell me: why do you think any person is supposed to suffer year after year, just to please people who don’t give a damn as long as they function the way it pleases others? You fight and find reasons to stay alive, because your subconcious doesn’t want to die. The only one you have to be fair against is yourself. If people around you do care for you, sure, you should consider this. But if there’s nobody obviously interested – go ahead, follow your instincts. I will one day.
everyone does what they want with their lives , every life and pain is unique .
matt from tehwarmroom?
Yeah life is precious but as a social misfit my only future is loneliness and mental illness. If I were an animal I’d be put out of my misery.
Thank you for your comments.
I shall write another post….