Came Out, but Still Feel Anxious and Afraid

When I came out to my mother, I had basically done it in a way that made it seem like she had already known. I went about it so nonchalantly. What I had done is brought my boy friend home and said, “mom this is my boy friend Rob, he’s homeless and I’m going to let him stay with us for a while.” And from there on out I left it alone and never really mentioned it to anyone. I just left people to assume I was dating a man since we’d be together all the time and we’d be really close to each other. The only other times I ever said to anyone that I’m gay, is when someone says something to me about me needing to find a woman for my self to make my self happy. I’d say, “I’m not attracted or interested in women.” And then just shrug it off. It’s really nothing to be anxious or nervous about. You’ll find that people don’t really care what your sexual preference is. If you still feel that way after a couple days, the problem is that you’re too worried about what other people think. The opinion and approval of others is irrelevant as opposed to how you view it and how you feel about it. Just go on about your daily life like you had before, and gradually you’ll get a lot more comfortable with the smaller aspects of being open about your sexuality, such as being able to say things like, “that man is cute”(assuming that you’re a male attracted to other males) or even just being able to look at someone you find attractive with those googly eyes and not being afraid of who sees you checking them out. You don’t have to stress the fact that you’re gay to anyone ever. Just be your self and get comfortable with it because that’s the way you are going to live your life. It’s nothing to be scared of, anxious, or nervous about. One more thing as well, keep this in mind; the people around you are not constantly thinking about you being gay, they are not always judging you because you’re gay. They have other things to think about rather than to be so concerned with something they cannot change. So if you think that people are constantly judging you because you’re gay that’s either because you have a “problem” with anxiety or over thinking, or because you might be a little conceited if you think that others are always thinking about you and your personal life. That last statement is not meant to come off in a negative way. Please don’t look at it that way. Over all though, I hope I have said something here that will help you find some peace in existence being open with your self and others. Relax friend, breathe easy, and don’t stress it, everything will work out, it will all be okay.