Wishing nobody cared about you when you’ve already given up on yourself and anything/everything involving yourself? Family, parents, loved ones, maybe a few friends etc… Whoever it may be that cares about and loves you. It makes it impossible to try to do something to end it all because you’re so scared to hurt the few that do love you so you just continue to suffer and hide it day in and day out. If only they could just not care. It would make the process so much easier, with almost zero hesitations. I don’t care about me, you shouldn’t care about me either. Life is the worst. I hate the thought of devastating my family and the girl I love, who care so much about me, but do I just let myself suffer for their happiness or? Such an awful situation. Why can’t it be easy and make it to where no body at all cares or even knows I even exist? it would make ending everything so easy… So so easy. Hopefully I find my way out very soon. I’m getting so impatient
7 comments
Yes! I have this phantasy where I can press a button, and it will not just end my life, but erase all traces of me, all memories, so nobody will be hurt by my death, nobody will grieve for me. It that existed, I would not hesitate for a second …
This is exactly how I feel.
i kind of did that a long time ago, i keep to myself quite a bit, but i haven’t given up on myself, instead i’m fighting to improve myself, you know that song ” you got to love the one your with”? well that would be me 🙂 i’m not a grump, but i need to take care of myself, at least i get something out of it, yeah i’m tired too, but if i’m going to exist, i’m going to try, just falling apart sucks. crazy answer but i don’t want to be totally depressed everyday. i can’t fix the world so i’ll work on myself, however when i can i do help other’s.
Rocketman, the same is actually true for me, the phantasy is just a phantasy. Most days I trie to make the best of my life and do quite well. It’s when I go to bed, in the quietness of my thoughts, that the urge to die bubbles up – strong as ever.
I understand completely. It’s such an awful feeling. If I could I would end it all now but I don’t want to hurt my family and I’m not silly enough to think that they don’t care and will get over it because I know they’ll be so hurt. A while ago i found that I can get by and just live for others and even though I don’t want to be here, I’d rather see my family happy. Sometimes I can be really bad so maybe one day I’ll push them away too much and then I can stop this feeling. I’m so tired of it and I’ve tried many ways to stop and change it but nothing has worked so far. I’m hanging onto the hope that one day it will be better.
I hope all of you who are feeling like this not only find a way to push through and find a way to become the person you want to be but have everything good – a happy fulfilled person. Lots of love to you all xxx
Many people get it, but does it matter? In the end we have to decide for ourselves what we want to do. I’m living life with one foot out the door the whole time ready to jump. But I will say that its hard to hurt the ones you love. I find that I’m living for others since my faith and care for myself if virtually gone.
U know something? Parents and relatives are our worst enemies. Very subtle enemies sometimes.