I can’t stop thinking how could I end it all without killing myself? If that even makes sense. I so badly want to just end it without actually having to commit suicide, I could never work up the courage for suicide which is sad. At least for now. Hopefully that will change soon
I mean whats the point of living? To make memories and be happy? Why? When you die you don’t remember anything. There’s no point in suffering for the little good here and there. I just don’t want to hurt my family or the girl I love, but then again why live for other people? Gotta do what’s right for you, right? Just none of it makes sense and I am in a never ending downward spiral that has hit rock bottom and continues to go ever lower. I hate it
how to end it without doing it with my own hands… My constant thoughts throughout the day trying to think of a way to make it happen. How sad that’s what I wake up to do lol. Why even wake up. Just keep me asleep for good pleaseeee is that too much to ask for
4 comments
I too have the same thoughts as you, stuck in this body, stuck in this life, I too want to just end it all without using my own hands, sadly when I’m a human, I’m obliged to continue living and serving the elite class who just uses the human population for their narcissistic agenda. Look around you and look what they’ve built, more violence and chaos throughout the world, more slaughtering of animals for food and more competition among us. Honestly if you want to find out what makes life worth living when there are narcissistic people among us, you’ll have to dig deeper and ask yourself why you’re here? Someone brought you here, and why? I was brought here by a narcissistic mother who uses my father and family members for personal gain. Why do I continue living? It’s because I have yet to experience so many more things life has to offer and another reason is because I have a responsibility as a human being to continue living, I’m not going to change what the elite is doing in the world, let them do what they want to do, you’ll need to become an elite to alter earth’s course for destruction. Go try something new (not something that harms yourself and not something that harms others), at least enjoy your stay on earth, what’s there to be afraid of when you’re not afraid of death?
From time to time, When I hit rock bottom, I gain enough clarity and have enough peace of mind to make the most difficult choices. I do it with so much ease that all of it scares me.
Only you can choose if you want to live for yourself or for your family and girlfriend. It is a decision which could require you to be selfish and maybe that is in conflict with your personality. You have to figure it out. Explore your options and desires/wishes.
I wish you didn’t feel the way you do because I bet you’re a lovely, genuine person who deserves happiness.
I am but for some reason nobody else thinks this. I guess I just fail to show people. I feel like I always hurt or fail everybody someway or another 🙁