I held on…through everything over the last year……I held on…being turned inside out…. I held on… giving it one last try as I hung on to nothing….I held on…while grasping for anything as I fell through nothing but open space…. I held on…as time keeps marching on, as it forgets me in it’s wake….
I held on…..because I know what it is like to be alone….I held on…. because I know what it’s like to have people turn their back on you… I held on…. as I cried alone…. I held on as my heart finished breaking as I held my infant son one last time….I held on….as I handed him over to a stranger that would take him down below….to the darkness and the cold…. I held on….as I kissed him one last time…. I held on…as you held your silence and left me below….
I held on….as you turned and walked away from me… I held on as you called me useless, disposal, unwanted, unloved….hollow…. I held on….to my pain and pushed it deep down inside…. I held on….as you choose to lock me further away in the dark….. I held on….as you showed me the door…. I held on….as you pushed my face not only up against the glass but through it…of your haunted memories…. I held on…. as you beat me down even further…. I held on… to the man I once knew….
I held on…. I held on…. I held on….
And now…..I watch as the first star starts to fall….
5 comments
Hey, ive just been reading ur previous posts. I like ur writing. Although it seems to be born of the deepest pain a person can feel.
It sounds like u have had a rough time, & that ur very alone. I just wanted to say im sorry for what has happened to u, & im sorry for ur little boy. These things should not happen.
I hope u make it thru, if thats what u want. Take care.
I can’t say anything helpful at the moment because u can’t even begin the imagine how much pain truly lies behind this. Just wanted to say I’m rooting for you. I know that isn’t worth much, but I hope you find the strength to keep going.
Thank you both for your kind words. Alone…. at this point doesn’t even begin to describe it. All I know is the world no longer has any color….just muted shades of gray…and I have lost all air….in essence, I am barely breathing.
Again, thank you both for your kinds and heartfelt words…. thank you for hearing me, when no one else will.
Whenallthestarsfall…………..
Its not much but if u need to talk away from here,
My email is
Scottdotjamesdotharvey@gmail.com
Im no great source of wisdom but i can listen.
Either way take care
Thank you, Soco….I appreciate that and most likely will be taking you up on your offer.
My email is:
whenallthestarsfall@gmail.com