My second morning in misery after two years of happyness. Maybe the universe needed to balance it out? (If you dont know what im talking about read my other post) we certanly had our fights. Everyday wasnt a peice of cake. But we were happy. Yes we were happy. Now we are not. Maddison im sorry. I wish i could make it up to you. I can replay those moments before you said good bye that it was over. The long 10 minute hug, the second hug when i pulled back. The smile, the tears. I know what to do now. If only i could have said hey its okay. I know im not perfect but im going to change these two things before you said good bye. Perhaps today id wake up happy and not sad. I want to go back so bad. Right now my only path is forward. To st. Louis. To a new start. You said good bye to me. You said me and you will never be again. You said good bye. Later today when you bring percy over so i can say good bye i will cry. I love our dog. Hes so smart. Im sad. I love you. I love percy i love our little family. Its going to hurt saying good bye to him. Its going to hurt saying good bye to you. I never expected this. Im very lost and iv tried talking to you but you always say no. Its done. Im done. You wont listen. Even though you admit to loving me and caring about me and how this brings you to your knees like me you wont take it back. I understand though that im alot. I can be a burden with my issues. I just wish things could be different. I wish you would let me try to make things better….. Another day in misery, in hell. Will the pain end? Im lost and confused. I cant see my future. Im moving far away with my dad but ill have no friends there. Im scared guys. I want to cry. I want to heal. Im really scared.
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4 comments
It’s okay to be scared. A lot of things are changing, and they are changing fast. Also, it’s good that you want to heal, however, it’s one of those things that can’t be rushed. It will take some time. Just grind through each day. One inch at a time.
I just said good bye to maddison and percy. It was the most heart wrenching… i miss her now. More than ever. I wish my dad was here. I want to leave now. Can someone talk to me? I dont want to think. Please just talk to me
I’m sorry your going through this, your not truly alone, you have your father, that’s one thing to hold onto. If my life has taught me anything its that it will eventually get better, trust me, it takes time yes, but you will move on, just find one good thing in your life and hold onto it… I know we’re strangers but if you ever need a listening ear, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
Thank you