I’m starting to remember something from my past. It’s weird i can be having a regular conversation with someone and they say a word and i get a flash back of something. I’ve never told anyone the full story of what happened. That might be because i don’t even know the full story myself. I guess I’ve never told anyone about it is because i don’t know what their response will be. Will they have nothing to say at all or say something like “wow”, “i can’t believe that “, “im sorry”, or “are you okay?” I don’t know how to respond to any of those. Like ya wow i know it’s crazy. It’s okay don’t apologize. And I’m not even sure if i am okay? I’ve met someone who has fallen victim to this tragedy but not even close to the way it happened to me. I’m not saying what she went through was less than mine but our stories are just different. I would like to meet someone who has been through the same thing but then again i don’t because that means it happened to someone else.
I guess i’ll give a simple explanation on what happened. When i was 6 years old, i was raped. It was a one time thing. Fast forward to when i was 12 years old. The same guy did it again except this time it was different. His sister was in on it. She threw me into a room with him and locked the door behind her. He first beat me up till i physically couldn’t move. He probably did that because after the first time i started doing boxing and had been doing for years by then. So after he beat me up and then did the act he put my face in a pile of cocaine. I tried to hold my breath for as long as i could but eventually i had to breathe, causing me to get high. Apparently i wasn’t in the mental state that he wanted me in because he then shot heroine in my arm. I still have the scars. I hate seeing them. He was smart about everything he did. He hit me in places i could cover up with clothes and shot it my freckles so it blended in more. I know how crazy it all sounds that’s probably why i block it out and have flash backs from it.
7 comments
This makes me so mad >.< fucking bastards. I just hope you know that none of it is your fault. Ok never blame this on yourself. Did you get away from those people?
I have not seen any of them in many years
There are some truly evil, subhuman people in this world and I am deeply saddened by the seemingly senseless violence that occurs. I am sorry for what you have been through, it is wrong and should never have happened.
These are some deep issues, have you thought about talking to a professional? I have to make it clear that you are completely faultless, an innocent child at the time. Sometimes talking can help resolve, make sense and hopefully attempt to put these horrible events in the past.
What about legal charges for the perpetrator and accomplice? Such crimes cannot be left unpunished.
I do indeed see a therapist but have never had the courage to tell her what i’ve been through. I’m not sure why i haven’t opened up about it. But it’s been too many years too take legal action. I feel like a fool for not pursuing charges but i was scared for my life at the time. Thank you for your support and comment i truly appreciate it.
yes. i haven’t seen any of them in many years
Fuck. Those. Bastards.
If its any help, i wouldn’t know what to say. I’d hug you if thats okay.
I’d love a hug