I’ll be 25 in about 3 months, and so far I have achieved nothing worth talking about in my life. I’ve never had a girlfriend or kissed or done anything with a girl (not because I don’t want to, it just never happened and women are never interested in me). I still don’t have my driver’s license. I’ve always wanted a degree in Computer Science, haven’t got to do it so far because I lacked the qualifications. Not because I’m not intelligent, but things didn’t go as I wanted in the last year of high school, partly due to depression, and didn’t do well in the stupid SAT-equivalent psychometric exam. Though I did attend college for 2 years for a diploma resembling a Computer Science degree (called “practical software engineering” here in my country).
But the main reason I’m making this post is this: at 25 years old, I still don’t have a career, and actually I’m just doing my first real job at a pizza parlor, earning minimum wage. Have been for the past 6 months, but before this I’ve never held a job for longer than 2 months. I want to be a programmer so badly, but it’s just not happening. I still have my final project to do for college (working on it), and I’ve sent a few job applications, leading to zero job interviews, but two calls, one from a company that ended with the typical “we’ll call you”, leading to nothing 4 months later, and another from a company that require you to attend an 8-month course, saying they’ll find you a job at the end. Been doing the course for a month now, but I’ve been having my doubts about the legitimacy of their claims (most employers require experience, and I have none, so how are they exactly going to pull this off?). If they don’t get me a job at the end, then I’ll be back to square one.
I’m really afraid of how my life is going to turn out, and this is causing me to become depressed, and in turn suicidal. I’m feeling like a failure. Am I really a failure or a “very late bloomer”? Please be honest, I want to know where I stand in life.
10 comments
It would be hard for anybody else to tell you where you stand in life. We’re all individual and on unique paths. I certainly would NOT consider you to be a failure. You’re working slowly but steadily toward getting stuff done. If it takes a while, it takes a while. The end result (getting a job) will be the same regardless of how long it takes. Keep working hard. You’re on a good path.
It seems that it’s going to take a long time for me. I become even more depressed when I check out job listings online. The first requirement for most of them is a degree in Computer Science. It makes me think I’ve wasted 2 years on my current degree/diploma (I don’t know how they managed it, but a few of my classmates found jobs). Even if I start now on a Computer Science degree I won’t be done until at least 32, by then it would indeed be too late and I’d really be qualified to be a failure. At the moment I’m struggling to find a reason why I’m alive. I feel like I’m living a pointless life.
I’m about to turn 23. I still live with my parents and work fast food with no college under my belt.
I’ve spent a lot of time dwelling on how far I;m falling behind my peers, but really I’ve just about had enough of it.
I mean, I;m sorry I was depressed and had psychological issues work out society but we all go at our own pace.
Maybe I am behind. Maybe there are people younger than me who are farther ahead, but what can I think about but my own siutation in life and try to move it forward?
Oh, and i;ve never been in a relationship or sexual experience. never even been kissed.
My goal is for that to change by next year
Its not a big deal if you are not settled yet. You still have more time. Many great people who are billionnaires now once were not having jobs at your age. I dont want to compare you with other people. But everyone has tough times and it may take years for us to get settled.
You’re not a failure ’til you reach the end. Sounds like you still have a lot of track to run. Pursue what you feel like pursuing, and maybe things will fall into place.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, your doing well. Don’t think your going to be a pizza guy forever just think it’s a job for now that gives you money. If you want something really bad and you know exactly what you want its easy. Spend your spare time teaching yourself I’m sure there’s a wealth of free knowledge on the internet. As long as the 8month course is teaching you basic entry level into a job in the industry you should be alright. Don’t give up buddy and never mind a stupid woman shell ruin your life more like it. Haha nah get yourself sorted first just get some friends to hangout with for now and it will be easier to meet girls that way. If that’s not an option maybe just start flirting with customers and ask them out on a date if they seem to like your advances. what’s the worst that could happen? Nothing lol
Yeah well that’s my honest opinion you are doing considerably well and what makes it so is that you actually know what you want to do in life. Many people don’t really know what causes them to just procrastinate. Reach for the stars matey you are worth it!!!
I can relate to this post a lot. I’m 21, I still live with my parents, I don’t have a driver’s license or a car. I ride my bmx bike as my main form of transportation. I feel like the problems in my life have basically kept me crippled. My mom used to tell me I was a lazy piece of shit and was useless when she was drinking. I have dreams of what I want to do in my life, I want to be a singer in a metal band but I have no damn idea of how to pursue that dream. I am trying to start up a handyman business and it’s actually working but internal problems are making it excessively difficult. I have spent so much of my life dealing with bullshit and my brain that I completely missed out on normal development stages. I see my friends living on their own with a car, job and girlfriend and honestly it does make me feel like shit about myself. We live in a society that tells you that your worth is based on what you do for a living not who you are. I have endless free time and that keeps my brain circling at times.
it’s very rare when people know what they are doing or have accomplished anything at 25, usually they are working in pizza parlor’s, i didn’t get serious till i was in my 30s, but this is when you should start thinking about working on some kind of career, i’d say time to start.
The next step up from “pizza boy” is “pool boy”.
Try to get a job cleaning swimming pools in wealthy neighborhoods. Those stay-at-home mom’s can be very generous.