i feel embarrassed accepting the fact im fucked up again. im forever using methods to distract it but in reality the darkness is never yielding. no matter how far i run, how long i strive, how much ive got. the emptiness never leaves. im starting to accept the fact i dont feel things the way others do, i dont react the same, im beginning to think that we dont think the same, and thats ironic because i dont think they think that. maybe its because im so lost and surrounded by thoughts everything else just seems to be covered in its shade. maybe i dont know how to deal with confusion or pain and im just being too sensitive, but thats not like me because i havent been suseptible to them both emotionally in years. i think im happy but can instanly drop it as if it were an act. and its the same with every other emotion except the one i cant explain; i can never seem to drop the thoughts that harm me. just a few thoughts i wanted to get out of me for the night.
1 comment
I’ve got nothing helpful to say, but I think I know how you feel at least. When I try to be happy it often feels like i’m lying to myself, trying to be who I wish I was, not who I really am. I doubt either of us will ever overcome our sadness, but hopefully one day we can at least learn to live with it and be true to ourselves.