My life is a never ending hell no matter how hard I try. I lost my job two days ago. I still don’t understand why. I worked my ass off, I was diligent, punctual, I did everything that was required of me, I didn’t have any sick days. I’m so confused. None of it makes sense. I loved the company I worked for (or thought I did anyway). I was only there for two months and failed my probation period. I’ve never failed a probation period before. Never. The people acted like they got on with me, they acted like everything was going well, then all of a sudden I get called to a meeting room and 2 minutes later I don’t have a job and can’t even step foot back into the office. It sickens me how they planned this. It sickens me to death. How sick and twisted must these people be. I feel like the only way for them to realise what they’ve done is for me to kill myself. I feel like that’s the only way to get justice.
Unfortunately I don’t think I fit the mould of being the young, pretentious type who went to a private school, is white, has rich parents who took them travelling, is spoilt, comes from a normal family and didn’t have to work for money. No. I come from a family with an asian mum and white father who abused her and me. He told us to shut up when my mum would teach me math. He told me I’m a horrible child when my mum asked me to call the police while they were having an argument. He grabbed my mum by her throat. He is bipolar/manic depressive. Because of that, I could never live at home while I studied or looked for a job. I had to work hard paying rent while I studied unlike so many privileged people I know. I went to a decile 1 school which is the lowest rating possible. People I worked with went to a decile 10 school which is the highest rating.
It took me many months to find this job, now I’m too traumatised from the humiliating experience they put me through to be able to work again. Clearly, there must be something wrong with me. I have no idea. I have no talents. Nothing. I am simply a burden to everyone and everything. I firmly believe people would be better off without me in their life. Yes, they may be sad at first once I’m gone, but ultimately they’ll soon get over it and realise that their lives are much better off without me.
I’m excited to be able to finally say goodbye to this hell. I can’t wait to be at peace.
5 comments
Objective opinion:
The people you worked for seem like scumfuck trash. For all the effort you’ve put into accomplishing all you have, they didn’t deserve you anyway. It’s their loss. Killing yourself gives you no justice. Watching them live shallow and hollow lives, pretending theyre not the steaming piles of shit they are, all the while not being sentient enough to realize they perpetuate the true definition of misery, is justice.
There’s nothing wrong with you to be honest, the working world is (in most cases, not all) pretty hard nowadays. If you worked like you say you did, then the only reason i can think for them firing you is that they are looking for someone that fits THEIR criteria a bit better. Again, nothing wrong with you or the way you work (so even if you failed the probation period it’s not because you did something wrong), it’s their work guidelines and sadly they are the employer, so they get to choose who they keep and who they don’t (regardless of how hard they work).
I’ve been on the same situation a few times and yeah, what you described is sort of how it happens. Not much notice and they just fire you, nothing out of the ordinary there. That considered, i completely agree with the above post: it’s not a reason for you to take your life. Other jobs might come, and in better working environments than the one you just left, were they appreciate your hard work and dedication.
You sound like me. A nice person who is too good for the scumbags in that workplace. They probably felt threatened by your decent and hard working approach. These days, bastards seem to win.
I’m at the same place in life. I’m sick of this hell. I can’t get a real job either and owe the government more than a person below the poverty line should ever have to pay just for fucking trying. What’s the use. I hope my former employers see what cutting me off did to me too.
Do not get down on yourself over this. Unless they gave you a specific reason that makes sense, it could be something as simple as economics. Usually when you’re on probation, you cost them no benefits. Since it’s a buyer’s market, they just might hire someone else through their probation period…then fire them…rinse and repeat…a lot of businesses cut costs that way…it sucks.